Bringing in 2018

(something glitched and this didn’t post. Good thing I checked before closing it. Originaly from Jan 4)

2018! And it’s already day 4? lol Life goes so fast, it’s mindblowing. But, I’ve approached it totally differently.
I worked through Christmas Eve, and then just chilled. The mother-in-law went into the hospital for pneumonia Christmas Eve, so rather than try to push through everything by working and watching the kiddo, I decided to just read books and hang out with family. I drove Uber a bit on Thursday and Friday, but my wife needed my help as well due to health issues. So I tried not to stress or worry. Lots of people were taking this time off anyway. My intuition didn’t freak out about it either, so it was a good choice. :-) And that choice lead to very interesting results.

I normally read a lot of non-fiction, self development books. But I’ve been feeling a pull to read fiction more to help my wife with her writing. I saw a post that were the 100 lesbian books to read and the very first book in the list grabbed my attention. So I looked it up, read the free preview, and liked it. Then I realized it was on Kindle Unlimited, which has a free 30 day trial. I signed up for that, then realized there was a free audiobook pairing if I signed up for the romance package on audible – again a free trial. And since then I have gone through at least 8 of Bridget Essex’s books which are all lesbian fantasy romances, with knights from other lands, werewolves, vampires and witches. Feel good stories that are amusing and interesting. I also read a cute book called Villians Don’t Date Heroes, which wasn’t nearly as good, but started me on this journey of lesser known books. In one of the last books I read, the main character is a normal witch living in an abnormal place. But what I realized as she would talk about rituals and the connections is that I actually wanted that. Not the details of it, but a spiritual practice that connected me to the larger energies of the moon and earth. So that lead me to my most recent endeavor.

It’s been years since I read anything witchy, so my memory was too hazy to know where to start. So I went online and started asking questions of my various pagan friends. I know I don’t want to do normal ritual. Calling a circle and all that just isn’t my thing. But I know there’s a lot of energy available to amplify my intention. So I received some good information, mostly about trusting my intuition, since I was being pulled in this direction. Tonight I did my first ‘ritual’, even though it’s a few days past the full moon. Here’s what I did.

First, I cleaned my office. I just couldn’t do ritual work in the mess. It’s not super organized, but the floor is cleaned up and well vacuumed, the general clutter is out of sight, and I had room to set up. Then I pulled down my salt lamp, which I turned on. I was told the colors of the full moon are white, blue and orange, so I chose 3 stones that matched from my collection: orange calcite, white quartz, lapis lazuli (egg shaped), and a selenite egg that I held in my hands throughout. I also added a nice big chunk of labradorite. Then I sat before them. First I took a few breaths, clearing my mind. Then I did an MBO for ease in releasing self judgment, which is what I’m focusing on releasing in the waning moon. I believe then that I called upon Luna, the Moon, and Gaia, the Earth, along with my spirit guides, to aid me with their energies with what I was trying to accomplish. I didn’t call upon any gods or goddesses, as that isn’t really my thing either. I had a nice little chat, felt the energy humming, and when I felt complete I did a bow. It felt very good to do something more purposeful than just saying a quick MBO. Then I put my primary stones in the basket of the salt lamp (it’s a basket of chunks of salt) and put it all away. Based on these results I plan to do this daily when possible to reinforce the intention and give me some connection time. I also have the moon phases in my calendar so I can now when to shift focus and pick a new one. I may try to do a longer ritual on those days, but I’m not worrying about it.

Another nudge my intuition gave was to make another lightsaber bracelet, after watching The Last Jedi twice. I felt like I needed the reminder again, given how challenging life has been. These bracelets take me about 4 hours to make. I could do it faster but the quality would suffer. And since I’ll wear this constantly for months I don’t want to sacrifice quality. Now if I can just take the time to make a how-to video I can check that off my list. I have been enjoying having it on.

The energies have been really odd the last few days. I find myself humming a lot. I don’t know what is all happening, but I’m assuming it’s changes that need to happen. It’s causing my appetite to be all weird. And sleep has been a challenge. But I’m trusting that it’s for the best. I mean, just getting nudges to do things for my spiritual life is a welcome change so it seems to be a good thing.

Business is starting to pick up. It’s looking like two projects are moving forward now, with potentially some others soon. I also met a guy who seems very nice and very interested in being an installer. He will be learning from my current installers and then should be a great way to simplify my project schedules. And we’re going to do our best to get into the home and garden show this year. Hopefully that makes for a great year of projects for us! And then with enough projects we have the money to invest in our own personalized lead generation system which keeps us growing quickly.

So right now, life is a challenge, but it’s looking up. Parenthood is quite the challenge with an almost 3 year old. It caused some major conflict between my wife and I last week. I reached out to friends again, and we have a plan of action. First, potty training. That is likely starting this weekend since we started getting Melody excited for it. This solves the biggest battle of the day – poopy diaper changes which are often painful for her. And I’m reading Happiest Toddler on the Block so I can be a better parent. I keep expecting too much from her cognitively. She’s so intelligent that it’s easy to do. There are so many awesome things about almost 3. Her understanding of holidays like Christmas and her upcoming birthday has been a blast. Her increased language, which was already impressive. Her new ways of playing with toys. It’s a lot of fun. What’s not fun is the other normal things about 3 – pushing limits, whining, etc. That’s where the book comes in. And soon we’re going to transition her to her own bed again and start weaning. It’s really time for me to have my body back completely. And it’s time for my wife and I to have our bed back, even though I love our cuddle times. It’s going to be hard for me to get used to not curling up with her. But it’s necessary. I know it’s not a one and done thing, but it’s time to give it a try again. I have two massive bags of m&ms for bribes. And toys. I think we can do it. lol

So that’s where I’m at right now to start the year. My physical is taking a break, though I’m looking forward to Tuesday night medicinal qigong with a little yoga mixed in. That will complement my Thursday morning qigong as well, so hopefully I start to feel better physically. I started doing the inversion table again, which I set to be more steep. And I am trying Moringa which is supposed to work even better than circumin for inflammation. I only just started, so I will see how I feel after working all weekend. We’re also researching kratom (I think that’s it) for my wife and maybe myself. I’d like to not be in pain so I can start exercising again. I know I could exercise at home, it’s just difficult to fit it in. So it’s going to be in there when I really feel the pull for it, like anything else in my life. :-)

Always a work in progress.

Favorites

Tonight Melody said “those my favorite” which is a word I didn’t know she knew yet. One guess what she was referring too…. yeah…boobies. lol But I had a talk with her about not getting boobies forever and that she would get too big and get lots of cuddles instead. She only really nurses at night and some mornings, or when really overwhelmed like on this trip. But that last bit of weaning can take a while, so we’ll see. In any case it was really cute and I wanted to remember that on our second mother’s day I was told my boobies are her favorite. Hahaha

Side note, watching Rugrats in the hotel room and it totally made me cry. It’s an episode where Chucky is trying to find a mom and finally his dad shares about his mom and a poem she wrote him. It’s something that really affects me. Thankfully the rest of the episodes have just been fun. Melody isn’t watching, but I’m having fun with it.

Well hell, Melody is playing with her ipad so I’ll keep writing. We’ve been in Arizona since Thursday for an expo. It went ok on the surface with some really positive leads for future work. It’s basically paid for the trip. The first two days Melody and mommy stayed in the hotel. Today we all went to the expo. Melody got so dirty playing in dirt and rocks and such. She had a blast but is low on sleep. Tomorrow we head to Sedona for just one day of R&R. If we had more money we’d stay for two. We’ll definitely be back in the future. We drove down 25 and then cut over to Durango between Colorado Springs and Pueblo which is a great drive. We have more time to stop and look at things on the way back and plan to hit one national park each day. Then Thursday is a busy day of networking and following up with people.

There’s a lot upcoming with this business. We’re going to split off the Colorado division as soon as I have 100 grand in revenue which is very doable this year. I’m going to be 51% owner of the company (which gets us the women owned business designation). And overall we have a lot of exciting things coming along for us and the larger company as a whole. I can’t wait to share it with everyone.

Quick update

In the past week I’ve been stressing less about money and not known why. I’m just trusting that it’s my intuition picking up on things. I’m going to talk to Brandon about pulling a reasonable salary for the solar work until we’re getting enough jobs going that commission would be more than that. That would help a lot. So here’s my quick updated. I’m going to focus on the positive, trying to shift my focus and story to create more.

Healing: I subbed for someone at a different BNI group and represented my healing business. I got one person who immediately said they wanted to try it! We had to reschedule so we’ll do it next week but it’s a real client! Hooray! I sub in the morning again, so hopefully I can think of something to say to get someone else interested. 🙂 I also am playing with targeted facebook ads. My first got me a few likes, but this new one is doing a lot better! I can’t even remember who mentioned that a lot of therapists are seeing people for election season related anxiety but that ad is doing better than all my previous. Now to find a way to follow that up with content that engages. i have a few more targeted ads to get going for next week and then I do an ad targeted only at the people who liked my page. Hopefully that results in actual clients.

Books: I went to an amazing training Monday night and bought a bunch of her training material. Now I’m slowly working through it and am confident I can build that business to a good level quickly. I have hope again.

Solar: We just got setup with Home Advisors who reached out to us. I don’t know where he found my info, but who cares? lol In that conversation Brandon mentioned giving me a salary (in reference to our advertising budget) so now I feel confident in discussing it with him. I’m going to work through my list of bills and such and see what is a good amount that allows me to focus and not have to drive lyft and uber much but also isn’t going to make me feel like I’m not meeting expectations.

Jedi: umm… lol I’m working on turning around this sneaky negativity that pops up due to the stress. That’s a full time job in itself! The next step is applying the training I did Monday to power hours so I have time freeing up to do yoga and other movement, along with just having fun with my family. Our friend is visiting and she’s Melody’s absolute favorite toy on the planet. I need to spend more time with them.

Anything else? Hmm…the weather has been crazy but nice. Winter will be here very soon so I’m enjoying being warm and occasionally cold. lol Lots to do in the yard to be prepared but we’re doing our best. I’m incredibly grateful for a small yard now!

Oh yeah, and I’m trying this supplement called EHT from nerium international. So far it seems to help me focus. I’m trying it for 30 days and then will evaluate. I’m hoping a one month boost will allow me to move forward on my own since it isn’t cheap. But, if it’s really helpful it will be worth it.

and with that I need to finish preparing for bed.

Life, self employed

I’m not sure that self employed is exactly accurate. I don’t have a normal job, that’s for sure. I am self employed with my healing business. I’m paid with commission for solar, which hasn’t had any sales yet. And I’m a consultant with Usborne Books which pays some but not as much as I need. All in all, I’m crazy busy and just not making much money yet. So, what will it take to change that?

One thing I did was start driving for Lyft. This would go better if I had better child care options and didn’t have a toddler overcoming separation anxiety, but I’m making it work. I’ve made a little over $200 in just a few days of driving. Not too bad. I prefer doing just a few long runs and seeing the earnings go up fast rather than a bunch of short runs. It’s a big pain in the ass to take everything (including car seat and mirror) out of the car to drive, but it’s worth it. And it makes me keep my car clean, which is a bonus. lol

Another thing I did was start the process to refinance the house. It will allow me to skip a mortgage payment and maybe even get a little cash back from the escrow and such. I didn’t even think to ask to take out more (duh!) until it was already being drawn up. It’s already going to be a bit more because the cost is folded into the loan. But it can be done quickly, I’m down to a crazy low 3.25% interest rate and save over $100 a month. Every little bit helps at this point! I may have been screwed out of my educational benefits because of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, but the home loan has been a lifesaver twice now. And having medical without having to buy insurance is also super critical. Medicaid eligibility is a huge mess due to having a high income and then practically zero. We just need coverage for Melody, though she doesn’t have any scheduled appointments until she’s 2 which is cool.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for the lack of cash flow I’d be perfectly fine with the current situation. It keeps me looking for new opportunities and expanding my comfort zone every day. Things keep getting better, I just want them faster, which doesn’t help me create.

I’m doing farmer’s markets and vendor events more now. It started with the health fair at a senior community. Another vendor does a small market that I wanted to try. I called the organizer and got in right away. It ends this next Tuesday, but that allowed me to meet other vendors and connect with two other markets. One is Fridays and goes through October and the other is a bit of a drive to Castle Rock but is Wednesday evenings. That’s a more affluent area so I’m hoping to get more sales and connections, not just for books but also solar. And the guy is really interested in having me join with his other idea of pop up paleo events. Basically they are vendor events geared towards crossfit gyms and stuff. So that’s another opportunity with minimal cost (except travel). Plus if I can’t do some I have a recruit for Usborne in Colorado Springs who can perhaps help. So the markets are picking up, even if it’s the end of the season.

This has been the most challenging time of my life, but not in a bad way. In order to pull this off I have to apply my tools like crazy. I fall short every day, but it’s getting better all the time. Hopefully I’ll start writing about these examples more, at least on my facebook page. It would be nice to start getting more clients. 🙂

I better get some sleep. I’m meeting two of my networking colleagues tomorrow and have plenty of phone calls and such to make to try to find some more vendor events.

In the event it takes another month to get back to writing, I’m still working on self care. Tonight I decided to try CBD oil (no THC, so no intoxicating affects). I’m hoping it helps relax my muscles more because my body hurts every day and it isn’t very fun. I’m struggling to make time for yoga, which would also help. And making time for even more is even harder. But tonight we did a short walk with Melody’s ‘bike’ and that felt good so clearly I need more movement. Hopefully the next time I post I’ll have some progress in this area.

Laid off and building

I was laid off June 30 and at a sprint ever since it feels. I’m constantly looking at how to build up my three business areas so that I don’t need to return to working a normal job. Honestly, I don’t know how to get another job that pays remotely well anyway. My experience is too specialized and I don’t really want another job anyway. I want to build up my businesses so I can work part time on them and spend time with my daughter and traveling the rest of the time.

I know this was benevolent. I requested a benevolent outcome for this many times, that it happen when the timing was right. Therefore, my faith is strong and I take actions every day to keep moving. My bigger challenge is slowing down to keep notes and get organized.

I’m still waiting on severance to hit my bank account. Thankfully we had a little savings, but it’s only 1 paycheck worth. So we really need that money quickly so I can pay the mortgage for July. I suspect they’ll call me Monday asking about it. But this is why I bought, because you don’t immediately get kicked out. 😉 The real fun is that we leave July 27 for 2 1/2 weeks for a trip that was planned ages ago. We did make it cheaper by cancelling our flights and car rental which were all fully refundable. We’re staying in rustic cabins the first two nights (Wyoming and South Dakota) so we get to save money there and see a new part of the country. We’re staying with a friend in Minneapolis the third night, my parents couch the 4th, and then the next two nights we’re staying at a vrbo rental in Upper Michigan with my parents. In Indiana we got an airbnb for only $45 a night which is awesome. And on the way back we’re staying at a ranch in Kansas! Melody is going to flip at having horses and cows around! And I’m honestly excited too. Too much time in the city messes with me. Especially after the 4th of July illegal fireworks (including loud mortars) and tonight hearing two gun shots at midnight. I really don’t like this much city. It’s extra motivation to keep building so we can move.

I better get to bed. I will have a separate post at some point about hosting an Usborne Book Party to get free books, but at this point, if anyone wants to help me out, and help yourselves, parties are super easy and you don’t have to sell a ton to get rewards. Free book credit starts at only $85 in sales and the books are excellent! If you just want to place an order and fall in love like I have you can do so at https://c5299.myubam.com/341196 The customer special is amazing right now. You get 6 wipe clean books plus two pens for only $17! These are great for pre-school and kindergarten levels and very durable! Let me know if you want some recommendations. 🙂

If it weren’t for instagram…

I’d post nothing at all. Wow, it’s been so long since I actually wrote an update. I’m so glad to have discovered software that automatically posts everything here. So much of Melody is easiest to explain with video. There’s no way to describe how awesome she is, or how much joy she brings us without video. And then we get to share that joy, which is even better.

Last week I worked from home because my wife’s grandma died, sending my mother-in-law back to Indiana. We didn’t want to risk my wife being home alone without support. The work I needed to do could easily be done from home so I totally took advantage of that. Then Friday night I started feeling off. Saturday left me nauseous and I haven’t had a normal meal since. It honestly reminds me of the first trimester where I was always hungry and always nauseous so I never ate. God I hated that. I have managed to not throw up by avoiding too much food. I had less luck avoiding diarrhea issues, but finally put pads to use (since my period has blissfully not returned yet). So…I have been working from home this week as well. I want to try to go to work tomorrow since I should be able to handle the nausea alone working. I mean I did it for months. I hated it, but I did it. This is a great reminder for any time I get a random bit of baby fever!

Melody continues doing awesome. She’s growing so fast. Every day I think her brain grows another level. She learned what a block was after telling her just once and giving her a bag of them, which is bizarre since it usually takes a few times at least. Side note, foam blocks are the way to go at this age. Anyway…we’re working on colors and identifying various objects. She’s pretty consistent now with things like her nose, ear, belly, diaper, and foot. Colors are harder, though purple seems to be the easiest for her to remember. She’s also been telling us when her diaper is wet (even just a little) so we’re going through diapers more but she’s also fighting the change. Unfortunately her interest has meant fighting her hands so they don’t end up in poop or cream. That’s why the snoofybee pad is the greatest thing ever. Seriously recommend it for everyone and she loves it.

We’ve also discovered that our Colorado baby is one, through and through. She loves going outside. And it’s not to play on her swing or slide, which is a big too much for her yet. She just wants to talk and touch things and of course go straight to the street… Every day is a victory in keeping her alive. lol It’s so good for me though. I love the outdoors too, but I get caught up in what i have to do, or the internet, and I am rarely outside. Now that I have my own yard there’s no reason to stay inside all the time. Especially not during our warm February. I’m going to pick her up a fancy wagon so we can walk farther to explore different areas rather than just using the stroller. Plus it doubles for going to the store and stuff.

On the home front we haven’t made much progress settling in. We are in a liveable state, but just barely. It didn’t help being sick. And then David taking a crappy sales job that has him working long hours for basically nothing. So there just aren’t enough people to help. And my wife is having a really bad set of autoimmune flare up. We saw a rheumatologist but are waiting on test results. Friday we got back to the family doctor to put her back on some pain meds. She went off them to see where her real pain levels were at. It allows her to reduce her dosage compared to before which is important for her. I’m hoping for a breakthrough soon. We have kept the worst of it at bay using body processes (specifically MTVSS on the immune system) which brings the inflammation down enough for the pain to be bearable. I don’t know how it works, just that it does.

So that’s where we are at currently. I loved my time working from home. Maybe I will be able to use this to really get a handle on paying down our debt, reducing the unnecessary spending, increasing the income so I can then dial back on how much I work. I feel like the energy shifted a bit. I might also see what other times I can work from home and simply ask to do it more often. It doesn’t work well all the time, but sometimes it does.

 

Rough day

I want to remember the rough days occasionally too. Today work was chaotic. We have people out due to vacation and that caused chaos. I worked late. Was late eating because of it, and was at a loss as to why things weren’t looking right. I was cussing and just getting more and more angry because I needed to get home to Melody. I finally gave up, emailed my boss…edited the email to not sound so emotional and rambling, and then headed out. I was almost in the elevator when I remembered my milk, thankfully. Then I hit up McDonalds to save time. While standing there, still pissed off, I started working on letting it go using my tools.

  1. Fake it – I smiled when I didn’t feel like it because it wasn’t anyone else’s fault my day went to shit.
  2. Expand – Anger and judgment contracts. I expanded my energy and kept doing it whenever I noticed that I was contracting again. This brought space which was needed.
  3. MBOs – I requested this MBO – I request a most benevolent outcome to find the solution to the problem in time to correct it before our meeting in the morning. I will say, I figured out the problem but it won’t be fixed by morning. The software takes too long to run. But at least it’s in process and we might luck out with results before  the end of the day Wednesday.
  4. Energy pull – I expanded and pulled energy from the Universe which supported my desire to find a solution in a calm manner. I did this while driving since it doesn’t take real effort.

It all helped. I also listened to Being You, Changing the World on the way home which just helped reinforce non-judgment even if it didn’t directly relate to what I was dealing with.

When I got home Melody had only been awake for about 15 minutes which was perfect. I was able to do the work I needed while she played and my mother-in-law ran interference if she tried to play too close and hit the keyboard. I am going to submit the jobs I need to and get ready for bed. I have to be in by 9 tomorrow which means leaving before 8 and getting up early and hoping Mels eats efficiently. It’s rather challenging to figure out the timing when Melody needs to eat.

I’m hoping she sleeps better tonight as well. She woke up quite a few times upset last night. I think it was a combination of her sniffles and the energy shifts occurring. Either way, there’s always the coffee in the fridge.

%d bloggers like this: