Push and pull

Yesterday was a challenging day. Melody wasn’t interested in nursing for the first time. Of course I went into all sorts of conclusions about what that meant.

She was weaning, but it’s too soon!

I’m going to get a clog if she doesn’t eat.

I’m going to have to pump right away at work and I don’t have time. I was emotional and it sucked. However, rational thoughts were also there. I recognized that she has been sick, so maybe her belly just wasn’t feeling like food. I reached out to a breastfeeding group and asked others nursing toddlers if this was normal and a nice person got me feeling much better. Missing a feed isn’t a big deal. So I used my tools, mostly repeating “Everything is the opposite of what it appears to be, nothing is the opposite of what it appears to be.” When I got home she was more excited than usual and nursed better than she has in a while. It was wonderful! I’m clearly nowhere near ready for her to wean, nor do I think she is. But she’s never missed a feed before, not like this. And the thought of exclusively pumping is daunting. I know she’s over a year so it shouldn’t matter, but she gets those important antibodies so I want to provide milk for a while still.

This morning she nursed well again, so it was clearly just the day. She didn’t really eat much breakfast either, so it wasn’t just me or my milk. And this morning, perhaps in response to yesterday, she was more clingy than she has been, wanting me to carry her around before I left and not wanting me to leave. Hooray for hugs, but I hate having to leave when she doesn’t want me to leave. Most mornings now she just says bye and is fine. Side note, she says bye with great gusto many times. It’s adorable!

What else is new in her world? She’s started using bye to dismiss people. It’s good we don’t take that personally. I’m sure as she gets older it is less cute, but for now it’s cool to see her learning. She’s learning to throw her toys up into the air, which is adorable for now until the throws become damaging. I forgot to mention before that she’s learning to hum, which is fun. She hasn’t whistled in a while, I think other things have been more interesting for her. What else? She greets the cats now with Hi and Meow Meow. Her meows are adorable, and she talks to the cats that way often.

She’s been sick this last week or so, so sleeping poorly until completely exhausted. She’s been afraid to sleep because she wakes up choking. It’s not fun, but boy do we get some good cuddles from it. She’s not normally very cuddly and I relish it. I don’t want her sick, but who can turn down good cuddles?

I guess that’s all that I can remember right now. Today winter returned unexpectedly so hopefully they’ll still get her outside, but bundled up more. I also wonder if I need to cover my newly sprouted plants? I suspect some wouldn’t like a hard freeze. There’s so much to learn when you inherit someone else’s garden!


2 Responses to “Push and pull”

  1. Molly Says:

    Glad everything is back to normal… I hope she feels better soon!

  2. butchjax Says:

    She’s getting there. It’s been a long winter of illness in the house. Building immune systems!

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