I am a Jedi. As such, no matter what someone else does to me I refuse to allow them to turn me to darkness. Do I get angry? Yes. I have days where I get angry for no valid reason. But today, this is justified anger. The question is, what to do with it?
I could choose to lash out at people who are/t involved. I could hit something. I could threaten those involved with violence. But none of that is beneficial. I could hold onto the anger, refusing to let it go. But that is exhausting and also not beneficial. So this is what I did.
First, I had a ton of energy and didn’t know what to do with it. I decided to focus the energy at the people that did this gross injustice. Not to attack – that would be completely unethical. My intent was just to make my feelings known. Subconsciously at least they would know how I feel. After this I asked Andrea what she saw since I knew I wasn’t going to be shielding well. Not that I was open to attack, but that I wasn’t holding my feelings behind walls at the moment. She described me as blue flames with ‘molecules’ going all over. I thought that was pretty cool actually. Blue is still me. I wasn’t dark, just burning cold. But either way, I needed to get home and clear out my energy before it affected Carrie. Once I got home I just let it drain away to the ground. And then I laughed. I laughed because I knew that they wouldn’t win. Darkness won’t win. Hatred won’t win. The light will win, of that I have no doubt. And in the end, they look like fools.
I asked Andrea to see how I looked then. I’m still blue flames, but the chaos is gone. I believe this shows that the negative aspects of my feelings was gone, but the resolve remains. I don’t know what I can do at the moment, but it won’t change our goals. We’re still going to Canada. And if there are problems with immigration…well, I’m confident we’ll come out on top no matter what. This will be fought by people with the cash and connections to fight it. I need to find a way to stay informed though. If it weren’t for twitter I wouldn’t know yet. And Carrie still doesn’t know. I’ll figure it out.
