My Plan for Knighthood

I started this discussion back in May at the Institute in the advanced training area. Since that area is not accessible to most people, I’m copying the information here so I can share it with whoever is interested.  There is still much to update since then, and much to work on, but it is a work in progress so that will always be true.

First, I used some elements of fiction simply to organize my experience.  It doesn’t include much for knowledge, but that is for another list.

The Trial of Skill is a measure of your control, perseverance, and self-discipline.  Lightsaber skills are often included in this Trial and other physical and mental skills may also be tested.

Well, I haven’t killed anyone so… lol  I can say that I haven’t struck a person in anger since I was around 13 years old, and that was just a frustration slap of my brother.  I have pretty good self control.  Self-discipline is something I always need to work on, but I have it when I need it most of the time.  I don’t have lightsaber skills – and don’t care if I do. lol   I do however have a black belt in American karate, a little experience with aikido and shotokan karate, and am a Marine (because you never cease to be a Marine).  What I need to work on is rebuilding a useful level of fitness.

The Trial of Courage is a measure of your ability to persist in the face of fear, doubt, danger, or overwhelming odds.  But beware, overconfidence can be a flaw and will not help you pass the tests.

I’m pretty sure I’ve been undergoing this trial for the past 6 years.  I’ve faced my wife temporarily dying more than once.  I’ve talked her down from suicide.  I’ve spent countless hours in hospitals in multiple states and seen her treated horribly there (and occasionally very well). I’ve watched my best friend die of cancer at 28, my older Marine neighbor who was influential in helping me reclaim my Marine-ness, and a Marine I served with who also left far too young.  All in the past 6 years.  In spite of that I’ve continued to train, myself and others.  Maybe not to the level I would prefer, but I did it.  So I have no problem saying I have passed this trial, even as it continues.

The Trial of Spirit is a measure of your ability to overcome your own failings and limitations.  You will not be a perfect person when you are presented for your Trials and you will be required to recognize your temptations, flaws, and disabilities and show that you will not be defined by them.

During the Trial of Courage I have had to learn to overcome a certain level of laziness and lack of focus.  As the only person capable of cooking, cleaning, shopping, working…I’ve had to force myself to keep up with chores throughout the week.  During this time I’ve continued to improve in the number of times I’ve cooked, the general cleanliness of the house, as well as keeping up with laundry.  And we’ve never run out of toilet paper.
But I have plenty of failings.  I am easily frustrated.  Often my source of frustration is when things change and force me from what I planned to do.  I struggle with a level of road rage.  It’s not bad.  I don’t drive irresponsibly in response.  But I do yell when someone does something stupid.  I get angry, but I also calm down within a minute.  I don’t stay mad.
Another failing is my lack of time management.  Often this is a problem with focus.  I get easily distracted, especially when it comes to the internet. This is something I want to improve upon in the next year.
Finally, my fitness needs improvement.  I haven’t been active in a few years and it shows.  But it’s not just a weight issue but health.  I know dropping weight will make my body feel better. And it fits with the expectations of being a Jedi.

The Trial of the Flesh is a measure of your ability to overcome pain, desire, or loss.  You must maintain your composure and become a stronger person through the Trial to have passed it.

I’ve undergone this trial in different parts.  First, my years of training in the martial arts, especially in training for my black belt.  Then in boot camp where they absolutely pushed us to our limits.  Recently I went through a shorter trial in getting my wolf tattoo.  The entire thing was done with the liner which meant it stung the whole time.  A big deal?  No, but I underwent it purposely staying present with the pain, viewing it as a trial and sacrifice.  But I do recognize that I often do what I can to avoid pain in my life.  I will overcome this as I regain my fitness where I’ll focus on good pain rather than pain just to show I’m a badass.
As for loss, I’ve already addressed that in the Trial of Courage.  I still tear up when I think of my friend passing though it’s been almost two years.  But this isn’t something I think I can control.  I’m pretty good at moving on and functioning, but I find the sadness of a few people’s deaths don’t easily leave.

The Trial of Insight is a measure of your ability to distinguish reality from illusion and look past your preconceived notions of yourself and the world around you.  Your mind must be able to release the distractions and avoid the tricks and traps of life.

In some ways I can do this.  My beliefs and perspectives have expanded dramatically throughout my 20′s and now into my 30′s.  While I have blind spots toward myself and I have even more toward others.  Reading people is a large weakness for me.  It’s the reason why I’m so adamant about wanting people to speak truth because I tend to believe what people say.  I am improving in my ability to sense falseness, but I don’t think it will ever be something I’m good at.  That’s also why I don’t tell lies.  I may avoid telling the truth but I don’t like to make up lies.  I’m a bad liar, plus I don’t want it done to me so I won’t do it to others.

Overall, I’m pretty good about cutting through the various distractions of life to get to what is important – either to learn from a situation, to fix it, or just to cope with it.  I often perform this ‘service’ for others.

I don’t know if there’s more to this trial however.

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I’m interested to see if anyone thinks I need more in the last four trials.  It’s always good to have an external perspective, even if no one sees me on a day to day basis.  I need to start looking at the knowledge I think I should have, as that’s the area I feel that I need to work on.

I’m going to start with taking all of the courses here as a way to review things and see where I should focus.

Esoterics
While my Force sensing may not be the best I know enough to help out a student.  I have some healing experience.  I know how to ground, shield, draw energy in without holding onto (much of) it.  I can cleanse in various ways and imprint.

Behavioral Attributes
I have to keep working on my leadership skills.  Hopefully I’ll be able to focus on it more in the future.  Communication is the biggest challenge for me.  It doesn’t show up as blatantly online as it does in person.

Philosophy
I don’t know anything about philosophy. lol  But I have Sophie’s Choice to read in the next year.

Physical
I need to get my diet and fitness worked out.
I want to return to a martial art such as aikido so I have greater confidence in my self defense abilities.  While I have skill it’s quite rusty.  I especially want to have easily accessible skills that don’t require harming someone else, even if they’re trying to harm me.
A long term goal is to learn to shoot a hand gun but that’s not a requirement, just knowledge I would like.

After looking at this I really need to review coursework and see where I’m at then.

One more thing I need to work on in the coming years is swimming and overcoming my fear of water that I can’t see in.  I need to take some more lessons and learn the basics of lifeguarding.  Since Carrie loves to swim I need to be able to intervene if she has a surprise seizure in the pool.  Currently I have to keep her out of the deep end where the water is above my head because I couldn’t do much to help her.  So that’s on my todo list for when I find the right place to learn.

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I’ve decided that my goal is to complete my requirements (whatever I come up with) by next year’s gathering.  That will be at my 10 year mark.  If there is disagreement at that point that I’m not ready, so be it.  But to me it really comes down to solidifying my knowledge base and getting my fitness in line which is doable in the next year to year and a half.

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Just a note, I will write a more detailed essay about what I see as my trials and how I’ve handled them, the good, bad, and ugly.  lol  I believe this essay should speak for me for those who have never known me would know why I hold the rank I do at any particular time.  This is something the Chicago folks do and I think it’s a critical piece of the process.

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I forgot to include integrative practice requirements.  See how valuable of a process this is? lol  Copying from what was prepared for the intro course…

Guidelines for the completion of Integrative Practice
(100hrs for adept, 500 for knighthood)

In this module the student will seek to explore and integrate their theoretical knowledge with the practical requirements and skills of a Jedi. This requirement is in addition to those requirements outlined for each academic subject.

The required hours may be drawn from at least 5 of the following and is a requirement of the Advanced study at the Jedi Academy. Students should keep a log and journal of their hours spent fulfilling this requirement. The log sheets should be signed by your offline instructor or yourself, and photocopies or scans must be emailed or posted to the Faculty upon completion of the required hours. Journals must be ‘softcopies’. Some activities may only count for a certain proportion of required hours.

If you have undertaken such work prior to studying here (which is not unlikely), please make an estimate of the hours you’ve done and gather your evidence, then have a chat with the Faculty so we can look to grant you prior credit.

Activity  and Evidence required
Participation in Qi gong class   This is on my college transcript (UW River Falls) and I’ve continued training using books which is included throughout my training journal
(Signature of instructor, or schools contact details plus a journal of the effects, benefits or otherwise of the classes.)

Participation in Martial Arts classes   10 years American karate (New London Martial Arts under Sensei Stiebs) – assistant taught for 5 of those years. While on the Jedi path, around 3 years of Shotokan karate with Sensei Bendickson (primarily) in River Falls and 6 months in Austin, 1 year aikido with UT aikido club
(Signature of instructor, or schools contact details plus a journal of the effects, benefits or otherwise of the classes.)

Regular attendance at a gym, or participation in a similar physical fitness activity On my todo list for this year
(maximum allowance of 20 hours for adept)

Undertaking regular exercise.   My plan is to participate regularly in walking and hopefully jogging
Details of physical activities undertaken, where with, contact details of business/association if applicable, regular journal of activity undertaken and benefits or otherwise of activity (maximum allowance of 20 hours for adept)

Undertaking volunteer or community work   Details of work undertaken, log of hours, contact details of group Realistically this isn’t going to be one area I focus on.  I donate so much of my time already to the Jedi and to helping people online that to do more isn’t feasible.
(maximum allowance of 20 hours for adept)

Astral Projection Course A few years back I did a weekend seminar with Robert Bruce with details in my blog
Undertaking an offline short course or attending a seminar in an area that you feel is beneficial to you as a Jedi.   Journal about the course, the benefits or otherwise you received and why you felt it was beneficial to your development as a Jedi. (hours accredited, duration of course/seminar up to 20 hour for adept)
To calculate allotted hours for this section:
- If a course has an accredited ‘hours’ less than 10 then use these hours (e.g. credit hours from a community college).
- All day seminar, workshop or conference – 10 points
- Half day seminar, workshop or conference – 5 points
- For a course spanning several sessions, 1 point per session up to 10 points.

Further study I have many book reviews that I still need to do
– reading/watching videos that you feel are beneficial to you as a Jedi   Provide a review of each book/video and describe how they helped you on the Jedi path, minimum of 500 words. (maximum accredited hours, 5 hrs per book, 2 hours per video, up to 20 hours in total for adept)

Receiving an energetic healing treatment I’ve had acupuncture (clinic in Austin, from Mara/Tir in Austin) and distance reiki with minimal results that I could easily determine
, for example Reiki, shiatsu, shamanic healing, polarity therapy, quantum healing etc etc. Student clinics of schools can be a good place to receive these for low cost.   Signature of practitioner or contact details; journal benefits or otherwise.

Undertaking a leadership/organisational or administrative role for a group
Journal of job description, challenges, and what you have learned (maximum accredited hours 20 in total for adept).

Overall I’d need to go through and start writing up something more formal, or pull out my writeup from my blog from the original experience.

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Just a note to myself. I hit 10 years in June 2012. By then (or perhaps then) I will create a public post to request constructive criticism from anyone willing to provide it.  Rank, after all, means nothing if people don’t agree you have earned it and embodied it.  Then, by the June of 2013 I will complete all of my knighthood requirements, completing it within my 10th year on the path.  In the meantime I’m working daily on my darkside, shining light on things that test my patience and such.  I see much growth in this area.  I will also request feedback from those who attend the gathering since they would have at least a few days of seeing me in action.

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That’s the last thing I wrote here.  I will add that I’m working intensely on my shadow self and am seeing a lot of positive results.  I’m also gaining basic proficiency in gemstone healing and through that am developing a Jedi specific meditation mala type tool.  I hope to have a prototype of that next month for the gathering.

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