Let’s try again

I posted this morning, the internet disagreed and ate it.  It happens.  Basically, I discussed how my energy is beyond confusing.  Last night I took 4 valerian and 2 Tylenol PM and couldn’t sleep.  It was obnoxious, I felt like I just had to move there was too much energy.  I slept in later than I hoped, which helped me stay awake at work today, thankfully.  However, the energy problem is still here.  I just feel like my body is frazzled, though my brain is fine.  I was super fidgety today, and my breathing is shallow and in my chest, which is quite annoying.  Tonight I’m going to really focus hard on my breathing and try to relax so I can sleep.  Right now, my only guess is that it’s related to my cycle and hormones.

This weekend was very rough.  Carrie had quite a few bad seizures due to lack of sleep.  I did what I could for her - positioned her body afterwards, put ice on her shoulders which took a beating, put heat on her back which was still real off from last week.  All of that helped, along with my attempts to equalize her energy.  She had lost a lot of sensation in her left extremities after one so I sent energy to that area, with the goal of giving her more to work with.  It seemed to work, but like any other experiment without a control, you can’t be sure.  That’s ok though.  I guess all that energy work could have got my energy moving differently as well.

Work is awesome by the way.  I mean, I love my job so much I can’t really call it work.  How could you at this point?  I go to work in the morning, I get a feel for what happened previously in our system and with the organization.  Then I work on my KR (knowledge requirements) for a while.  I’ll go to a class when necessary, and end the day with an hour of Russian.  And I get paid!  It’s amazing!!!!  What’s great is that I can see what I learn.  Each class I reinforce what I learn and deepen my understanding of it.  I still have a lot to learn, but it at least makes sense!  My goal is to become a top gun, which means I’m a fully certified instructor and qualified on console.  Basically, a master of both domains so that you’re very flexible.  Sure, it means probably getting more of the crappy shifts on console, but it also means I get to help in so many different ways.  You know, words don’t describe how much I love my job.  I know I’m lucky because my only responsibility is to study and learn, so I’m not stressed or excessively busy.  I’m very much enjoying this.

I’m going to try to post more often.  I have a lot on my mind, but it’s not something I feel like writing about I guess.  It just takes time that I’m spending with Carrie or cleaning instead.  And that is certainly important.