Training Day 1

Today I started training academy.  We started with NASA history, but I only caught half of it as I was scheduled in the motion based shuttle simulator in the middle of it.  The sim was quite awesome.  The motion based part was pretty cool.  Then we each got to land the shuttle without motion (otherwise we’d need someone experienced as a copilot and then the other people wouldn’t get to see).  It’s harder than you think it is.  The shuttle is slow to respond to roll, but quick for pitch adjustments.  But in the end I was able to land the thing without crashing.  Talk about stressful!  lol  But it’s pretty fun anyway.

Back at training academy we learned about the shuttle, which was more valuable for the stories Tom shared with us.  We learned just how important it is to speak up when you are unsure about anything.  If any number of people had spoken up, Columbia wouldn’t have been lost.  We were reminded over and over again the importance of communication.  It’s a big job, and we all have a lot to learn.  I really look forward to it though.  Learning to communicate effectively, to make decisions quickly, to learn to think through things in a way I haven’t ever had to before, all of these are valuable skills in life.

What’s amazing is that it is quite possible that some kids, 18 years old have no idea they could be the first people to set foot on Mars.  And we can be the flight controllers and team leads that get them there.  At the very least, we should be flight controllers when we land on the Moon again.  Simply amazing.  And you know…if the next president does try to cut the space program, I think I will have truly lost faith in the political process.  Any politician that honestly can’t see just how important the space program is to give hope to countless children around the world is just blind.

I grew up in the middle of nowhere - nearest neighbors a half mile down the road, surrounded by corn fields nowhere.  But as a kid I had this record with the transmissions from the first shuttle launch.  I had a shuttle toy, and wished more than anything to go to space camp.  I would have never thought to go into science without the space program.  I didn’t know any scientists personally, so how else would I have come to that idea in small town Wisconsin?  Nothing else can provide that much hope in a person who doesn’t know how else to get somewhere in life.  There are many other reasons to go, but considering that Obama talks about hope on one hand, yet talks about canceling the space program on the other, he clearly isn’t thinking straight.  Or he’s thinking too small.  Either way…he’s wrong.  And I’ll have truly lost faith in him if he really tries to do this.

Galveston day 2

Today we made it back down to Galveston for a few hours.  Today there was more  seaweed, which added to the smell that I typically expect from large bodies of water, but it wasn’t that bad.  I saw my first jellyfish, multiple varieties actually all dead on the beach.  How many dead jellyfish does it take for a dangerous animal warning?  I know I’m a wuss, it’s ok.  Today I saw small ones that were purple/blue.  Pretty, but also sad because they were dead and/or dying.  And one had this crazy long tentacle yet, so I was trying to watch my step.  There was also a bigger white-ish one.  That certainly didn’t make me more comfortable in the water.  This is why I have a fear of water I can’t see into - crazy things that can hurt me! lol

I did have a great time in the water.  I tried to relax, release some of my fears.  I really think I was eaten by something water based in a past life, because it’s a pretty irrational fear.  hehe  It is quite relaxing to be in the water, even if it meant I got half of my shorts soaked.  Thankfully I left the electronics in the car.  Next time we’ll be sure to bring extra clothes because each time I go in a little farther.  I think this is going to be a standard trip for us each weekend.  Perhaps even during the week if things are particularly stressful because it’s the best stress reliever ever.

Now i need to get to bed.  I hope I can get tired enough to sleep.  I’m back to waking up within an hour after I fall asleep.  I don’t understand what is causing this sleep pattern, but it sucks.  At least we fixed the mouse wheele so it’s quieter and doesn’t wake us up.  I need to be alert this week though because it’s training academy and I don’t want to be rude during classes and fall asleep or even fight it too hard.  Tomorrow will be awesome though because I get to go in the shuttle motion based simulator and try to land it.  Woohoo!  So sleep is important.  I expect this week to be interesting though.  :-)  There’s also the bonus of a paycheck on thursday.  Hehehe  things are finally settling in!

Galveston

Today, after cashing my check (which was half of what I expected) we decided to just drive and explore rather than shop.  First we stopped at Ryan’s buffet in Texas City.  The food was very good and we left quite stuffed.  Then we headed down to Galveston.  It’s absolutely amazing down there.  We drove all along the seawall, seeing almost all of the island before heading back north.  We stopped first at a random stop along the seawall and walked in the water a bit.  It was cold at first but really not bad.  It felt great.  Then we explored the north part of the island.  We drove until we hit the legal drinking beach, which I’m sure is packed during spring break.  There were a few tankers parked out in the distance, which was interesting to see.  Then we headed back south and went quite a ways past the state park before turning around.  There are some amazing houses down there.  The insurance on those houses are probably more than what our first house will be worth.  lol

We also stopped at one of gay bars, 3rd coast I believe it was called.  We lucked out with $2 shiners and some low key conversation with the bartenders.  It’s nice to have a place to just hang out for a little if we want to get out of the sun without having to worry about people being weird.

Ok, so it’s quite possible this part of Texas is winning us over.  The weather has been amazing.  The water is a perfect pit stop.  But it’s not nearly as obnoxious as florida.  How much money do we need to have a beach house? lol  I know where we’ll take everyone who visits now.  Forget Houston.  The gulf is away cooler.  We’re going back tomorrow and packing a lunch this time.  It did so much for our spirits.  I have been quite bitchy because I can’t sleep well with the noises and stuff here.  But the water is quite calming.  I can’t wait.

Day 4

Well a few days have passed now.  I now have computer access to the JSC and USA, which is a feat to pull off at times.  lol  I’ve had one group meeting where everything went over my head.  Today I went to a scripting meeting where a tiny bit here and there would make a little sense, but nothing meaningful.  I was working mostly on identifying acronyms.  It’s really like immersion into a foreign country.  I’m learning the culture and language as fast as I can.  lol

So far I’ve worked on my first manual, which familiarizes you with the space station and all it’s systems.  It’s about an inch thick, so that gives you an idea of what I’m up against.  :-)  I’m taking notes, which helps me stay awake and get the acronyms a bit faster.  I might make flash cards tomorrow to study over the weekend.

I’m in an office without my group members yet.  They are hopefully moving to the vacinity in May, then my mentor will be in the same office instead of a building away.  But it’s alright, I get more done probably.  It would be nice to have a bit more team bonding time though.  So I visit every day before I leave so I can interact a little.

The other fun is trying to get to sleep earlier.  I just can’t sleep well here.  I don’t know if it’s Carrie being up and down all the time, the mice running around in their wheel, or just my own body, but it’s not easy to adjust my body to sleep around 10.  But once I can it’ll make things much easier.  I should be on the 8-5ish schedule for quite a few months, so if I can get a consistent 8 hours every night I’ll be doing much better with my studies.

What I find most interesting about working with the space program is that so much of my group is in their 20’s and maybe early 30’s.  It’s like the military, where relatively young people are in charge of some quite large responsibilities.  That makes for an interesting culture, but one that’s also quite fun.  The people are quite amusing and it makes for a good work environment.

I guess I’m going to keep an eye on food and unwind with my video game since I can’t do much else right now.  I’d be plenty busy if my paycheck just hit the bank…tomorrow I guess.

Oops…

And this is what happens when you lose track of time.  Today was our 4th wedding anniversary.  lol  Oops!  We don’t really stress about it, our real anniversary is August 15th anyway.  It’s more important to keep track of those 8 1/2 years than these past 4 years.  Hell, we wouldn’t have even figured out that we missed it if my mom hadn’t sent us an email.  Good thing Carrie doesn’t get upset either.

First Impressions

Today I drove to our apartment complex and picked up the lease to sign.  My first impressions are mixed.  There was a group of younger teens sitting around outside the front buildings.  The place looked more run down than the pictures, but that is always the case.  However, the kids were behaving themselves.  Also, they weren’t overly loud.

Our apartment is way in the back, which was a quiet area.  We’ll get to actually see it tomorrow.  The complex is surrounded by undeveloped young woodland, which is nice.  Hopefully that doesn’t translate into crime problems.  Also, the whole area is pretty undeveloped except in sections.  it’s interesting.  I realized that, while it’s obvious, we’re living in a coastal world now.  Coastal communities are setup quite differently, which isn’t necessarily bad, it just requires an adjustment for me to figure out where things are.

So, while this is an uncomfortable situation, I’m going to just go in with an open mind.  There must be a reason why we are living where we are, since it wasn’t our choice.  I guess we’ll find out at some point.  In general though, I like it down here.  There is space, and quiet, even if there is a lot of traffic.  We can settle here, get our finances in order and even try to save up to buy a modest home.  You can buy decent stuff for around $75,000, which is affordable once we clean up our credit and save a bit.  I guess we’ll see what happens.  :-)

Made it!

After an incredibly long day, we have arrived.  The car is unpacked, the computer is setup.  Food is in the cupboards.  We’re exhausted.  But I had an energy drink and a coffee drink on the way (necessary after only 3 hours sleep last night) so I’m also awake.  We will get up early tomorrow though because there is free breakfast, and we need free.

Today it poured at times, which slowed the movers down.  But they did a great job, were quite nice, and I feel confident our stuff will be fine.  I learned the car top carrier is waterproof enough that none of our stuff appears to have gotten wet, which is nice.  Our hotel isn’t as nice as they claim it to be, it’s an older hotel, but it’s nice enough.   The cats are not amused, but they’ll relax in time.  The mice don’t seem to care one way or the other.  lol  Thankfully it’s beautifully chilly, in the 50’s so I’m not feeling the humidity yet.  Hopefully it’ll remain cool for a few days so we can adjust.

I really better wash up and get ready for bed.  Tomorrow morning is going to hurt, not just for lack of sleep but I accidentally let them pack my tempurpedic pillow.  grrr.  Oh well though, I’ll cope.  Too tired to care tonight.

Old friends and New Beginnings

Tomorrow we move.  Thankfully it isn’t far, and I’ll be back online tomorrow night probably, though I’m sure too exhausted to post.  Who knows though.  Lots to do today, and then lots of cleaning and prep tonight.
This weekend I found an old friend through the good old fashioned act of googling.  This time it found an active myspace page and we’ve been trading messages since yesterday.  It’s pretty cool.  Last night we also got to hang out with Katie, which is always fun.  Time slips away so fast when in school and then working that it had been months since we last hung out.  Hopefully she’ll be able to come to my birthday camping extravaganza this year.  :-)

Time to get going, we’re meeting Christi for lunch and then running other errands.  Fun fun stuff!

My thoughts on what a Jedi is, and what their purpose is in our world

While I also believe the Jedi is a sort of jack of all trades, my reasons are different.  I think most people are still looking at this from their physical perspective and missing the big picture.

The Jedi’s first goal is to become a whole person.  In the Jedi community we hear a lot about training the body.  That’s an important thing to do because the health of our body affects every other part of our self.  But it’s not enough.  We hear about training our mind, which is also important.  We can learn a lot about ourselves and others and reduce a lot of the dysfunction in our life simply through awareness of the problem, but it is also not enough.  We even hear about training our energy body, the non-physical influences on our body and mind that we address through various energy exercises, and even that isn’t enough.  Because what is most missing throughout the community, and what has been missing throughout it’s history, is the spirit.

Our spirit is the part of us that is all knowing, all loving, and eternal.  It is always connected and always aware.  It is our wisdom.  Sure, there is some talk of it from time to time.  But I have yet to see within the Jedi community people getting to the heart of the matter.  Our beliefs as humans are based upon myths of our origins, who we really are, and what we are capable of.  We have forgotten or refuse to believe that we are divine in nature, that we are always connected with something larger, whether that is called the Force, God, the Universe, or Life, it doesn’t matter.  We are always connected.  The feeling and belief that we are not is the primary cause of suffering and dysfunction in our world today, and has been for centuries.

These beliefs are why we behave the way we do.  All of our behaviors are due to beliefs we hold about all sorts of things.  We do attempt to get to some of this through personal development training.  But I have to be honest, that only scratches the surface.  As long as it remains a mental exercise instead of a soul exercise, it will only scratch the surface.  And we will always have the behavioral conflicts within our selves and the Jedi community.  Look around and you’ll see that those behaviors and beliefs are why we haven’t gone anywhere as a community, and why we won’t grow much beyond where we are.

The Jedi community, while speaking of balance, has never been balanced.  This is because the majority of the leaders do not understand the true importance of spiritual development, or were afraid to speak up and face the detractors.

I’ve spent my life working on all these various aspects of life.  I’ve trained my body physically through years in martial arts and the Marine Corps.  I learned a lot from that, and I think everyone can learn from pushing their body a bit more than they think is possible.  I’ve trained my mind constantly, not only in science but in the arts, trying to balance the parts of my brain.  Without having a strong knowledge base you’re going to limit what you can understand in life.  And I’ve trained my energy body, though not as much as I would like.  I’ve certainly seen the benefit of that as my own skills and abilities begin to show themselves.  But none of those things brought deep, lasting change in my life.  It was the spiritual development I’ve been pursuing for the past few years that accelerated my growth to levels I didn’t realize was possible.  Sure, there are techniques for everything, but it’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound - it only helps for a short time.  Our beliefs are usually ingrained so deeply that it takes an equally powerful tool to get to them.

I realized the other night that, while I’ve believed this for years, I had allowed the Jedi community to push these beliefs to the back of my mind as I sought to make as many people happy as I could.  In doing so I lost sight of my purpose in this community.  You see, the more you develop yourself spiritually, the more you can help others.  I’ve counseled countless people online and off.  Over the years I’ve noticed I can see the source of their discomfort more easily and find the right way to address the issue so they can start to heal themselves.  Everyone already has everything they need within them to be a whole, joyous person, but they have forgotten and need a little help seeing the tools available.

Bringing this back to the jack of all trades thing, the more you know, the more you have to draw on when you’re helping someone.  I can’t remember all the times I pulled out some seemingly random piece of information or technique to suggest to a person.  I’m sure Phoenix remembers them more than I do, since lately he’s been the recipient of the many tools in my tool belt.  But it’s because of my many varied experiences that I can help a variety of people.  Sure, I’m stumped often as well, but I know I have a long way to go.  :-)

In the coming week or so I’m going to do my best to expand upon this spiritual development and what it is a Jedi needs to learn to begin their spiritual training.  The focus isn’t to bring them to what I know, but to bring them to their own deeper truths.  This is where wounds heal.  This is where we draw our strength and find our deepest wisdom.

Before I forget, I wanted to address what might be brought up by some, that the Jedi are not religious in the fiction.  I have two views on that.  The first is that, in a deeply spiritual culture, it’s rarely discussed as a separate thing.  Instead it is so interconnected with their belief system and life that it’s everywhere - unified just as we are unified with all of the Force.  So after centuries, there’s no reason why we would see separate spiritual discussions as a general occurrence.  Secondly, this is still fiction written by people who are not spiritually aware to the level that they could include it.  However, even without that, they certainly hit on some key concepts just through the mythology.  But you certainly don’t expect a guidebook to spirituality in a series of books spanning so many authors and time frames.  This is where I say we learn from the fiction, but realize it’s limitations.  Perhaps this is why spirituality has been the most ignored aspect of training in the Jedi community?

It seems to me as if the Jedi training has been approached from the bottom up, rather than top down.  We start with the physical, our experience and understanding of our life here in the myths of humanity and try to expand from there.  But that’s building a foundation on falsehoods, or on sand as the proverbs goes.  Instead, we have to come from our higher self, our deep wisdom, our spirit.  That’s the only way we can move beyond where we are today.

Thinking Ahead

I have this bad habit of, once I get an idea in my head, I focus on it even when it’s months away, or not even probably going to happen.  I do better I think now, but it’s still very much a part of my habits.  Right now that focus of my dreaming is my birthday.

I’m not a birthday person.  I don’t worry about doing things, or having a party.  I’ve spent plenty of birthdays along, working, or otherwise not celebrating beyond treating myself to something.  But, it can be a convenient excuse to do something.  Since this year I turn 30, I figure that’s as good excuse as any to get my friends together.  It’s been years since I’ve seen most of them.  I last saw Olga in boot camp, so I think she wins for the longest time period, and we weren’t even friends then.  I last saw Holloway in 2000 when we all went to the Indigo Girls in San Diego.  I last saw Ash in summer of 2001 when I flew up for a quick weekend surprise.  Sarah is the only person I’ve seen recently since I flew there this past February or so.  Now, this is a Marine heavy group, with Ash the only outsider, but I realized that there is a lot of overlap of interest, so I’m not too worried.
Right now, my dream weekend would be for everyone to fly in Friday.  We camp either friday and saturday, or just saturday. What’s more fun than sitting around a campfire, drinking a few beers (or water for the non-drinkers), cooking food, and just hanging out?  I think it would be great fun, and the best birthday I could possibly have.  Though, honestly, if half couldn’t come, that’d be ok too.  I’m pretty flexible.

I sent them all emails tonight to bring the idea up.  I know it’s super early, but if people do want to come they need to plan vacation and such accordingly.

oh, and Ellen, I would love to see you too, but I’m not sure about your health.  But if you’re feeling better, you’re totally invited as well.  :-D  You can swap chemo stories with Sarah lol