Whirlwind updates

Where to start…

Today we went to the emergency room to follow up since Carrie’s pain increased again and she had a fever.  Turns out the antibiotic they gave her last week for the UTI wasn’t right, so they gave her a new antibiotic along with lots of morphine and more pain meds.  They also got her a medicine to open her urethra so she can pass the kidney stone more easily.  Yay!

Today I also gave my two weeks notice.  I told my supervisor last night, and put the letter on my boss’s desk.  Thanks to the ER trip, I didn’t have to see my boss today, and won’t until my last week of work, when my supervisor will be gone.  Crazy!

We have a tentative move date - March 18th.  The movers will come, pack everything, move it to Houston, put it in storage, and then move it from storage when our apartment is ready.  In the meantime we’ll be staying in an extended stay hotel, probably.  It’ll be interesting staying in a small space, but without our stuff it won’t matter much.  And at least Carrie has her computer so we’ll have the internet.

I submitted all my security paperwork today, so hopefully it all comes through and I’ll be starting March 24th!  They already have me on the list to get into some training the following week.

It’s going to be insane this month.  Thankfully I filed my taxes and expect my refund to hit next week or we’d be pretty tight on money.  Though, once I start work I’ll have tons of it thanks to my per diem reimbursement ($59 is awesome!) and my new hire bonus.  We’re going to get Carrie into the doctor and also save up for a new car deposit.  But, on my guilty pleasure list is a Kindle.  :-)   I also look forward to being able to eat all healthy and organic food when possible.  Oh, and buying clothes.  I have to look professional, so that means I need new pants and a few more dressier shirts and polos.  And shoes!  Oh that part will suck.  But it’s nice too.

Until this happens, we need to clean the house and start getting rid of what we don’t need to take with us.  For instance, I don’t think we need 2 tvs, or the fish tank even though it amused me for a while.  But we’ll see.  Carrie and I will discuss it later when she’s not on pain pills.

So that’s my week, skipping some of the crazy details.  I’m so glad it’s friday, though I have to work a few hours tomorrow.  This weekend I need to clean!  But man, I’m constantly excited/nervous to get this all going.  So fast!

Wow!

Now I’m excited.  My offer was $20,000 more than I expected!  It’s more than double what I make now, and that’s awesome.  Our rent is only going up at most $200, so we can definitely catch up bills, pay down debt, and start saving.  Woohoo!  I’m quite excited and can’t wait for things to get moving now.  Yay!

Weird dreams

Two nights ago I had a return to boot camp type dream.  I don’t remember much, but at one point there was a formation running by wearing different kinds of clothes instead of standard pt uniform.  For some reason this bothered me.  So I found Parnelli, who was our series gunnary sergeant and last I heard was a warrant officer.  I was debating how to talk to her, as she is quite intimidating.  She said something like, Marines don’t need to ask permission to speak, but I didn’t know the rules of this dream so I didn’t want to presume, especially when criticizing.  I told her that everyone being out of uniform made us look bad, we aren’t the army after all.  I don’t remember what she said after.  And it’s weird because I’ve never seen the army do that either, I think it was meant to be a bit of a joke.  Either way, odd.

Last night all sorts of stuff happened, but of course much of it faded.  What stands out is the lucid dream/astral experience.  I remember becoming aware within a dream and instantly getting scared, which I recognize as being the difference between astral and lucid.  Lucid dreams don’t have any fear elements, I’m just aware of watching.  So, as I’m trying to make sense of things I try to reign it in.  Part of me is trying very hard to get back to my body, but the other part is trying to take advantage of the situation.  I got enough control to try to stay, and actually I got enough to fly!  I couldn’t see much, but I could definitely feel the flying experience.  That was pretty neat.  I tried to get to my friend Andrea since if anyone would notice me, she would.  I don’t know that I got there, however, as my sight was really poor.  I also think I was low on energy as I couldn’t hold this state for very long.  Perhaps the part of me that was afraid made it back to my body and that kind of shut things down.  In any case it was quite interesting.

Maybe I’ll remember some of the other dreams later.  They’re at the tip of my brain right now but I need to get ready for Shayla’s first birthday party.

First Job Offer

Wow, I really haven’t updated this week?  That shows how hard I was working on my presentation.  On Monday I was reminded by Arthur that it should teach them something, not just inform them of a technical topic.  So, I reworked a majority of it over 3 days, which wasn’t easy.  But in the end, I walked the line quite well.  I picked a topic, neutrinos, that they didn’t really know much about, making it more interesting.  I included pictures, tried to share the why’s (that we know at least) and impart understanding.  According to one senior person, I did exactly what they wanted, which is great!  And now, 24 hours after my interview, I have my first offer!  I don’t know any details except the position itself because HR is still approving it.  I should know tuesday at the latest.  Then I’ll need to figure out money and a timeline.  But I expect to be in Houston by the end of March.

Now, the interview itself was interesting.  Wednesday, with still much work to do on my presentation, was tons of fun.  My flight left 2 1/2 hours late from Austin due to weather in Houston.  I got about 30 minutes of work done while waiting which reduced a lot of stress.  Once I got to the hotel (thanks to my phone navigation system) they had free brisket and beans and stuff.  Yay for free food!  So, by 8 or so I was settled in to finish it up.  Then, of course I had im’s and phone calls from people to wish me luck.  That’s nice, of course, but I had very little time to work and I was exhausted.  I eventually finished around midnight and got to bed.  Unfortunately I haven’t slept for a few weeks now, and 6:30 came quite early.

I arrived to the Johnson Space Center a bit after 8 after following a map that was incorrect.  I was waiting in line, shirt untucked when I just starting tucking it in.  I noticed a guy walking outside and it turned out to be my contact.  lol  Yay for instinct!  He drove me inside the center and we started with my presentation.  There were 8 people in a small conference room, equal amounts of men and women, from a few different groups.  After the presentation they asked questions.  The most interesting question was whether I have nervous habits.  It makes sense to ask, since you’re in mission control for 8 hours at a time, or in meetings a lot, or sharing cubicle space and it’s obnoxious to make noise all the time.

After an hour and a half or perhaps more, I was shown the SSTF (space station training facility) where they were about to start a sim.  It was pretty neat, and overwhelming at first.  But that’s what training is for, and that’s why it can take a year or more to get up to speed.  I look forward to that challenge however!

Back to the tours.  We looked at some other things and then I was handed off for a tour of Mission Control, peeked into the shuttle mission control where they were running a simulation, and again back to my main contact.   Then we went to building 9, where the big mockups are.  The shuttle is so huge!  I wish I could have been in it, but we didn’t have permission.  I got to see the space station mock ups as well.  All so interesting to see at the right size.

Then we went to lunch.  I ate with people from the Thermal Control Systems group.  Great people.  Really, everyone I met was incredibly friendly, happy, and loved their job.  I felt like I was in my element even more than grad school.   It was awesome!  Plus, there is a lot of diversity.  Now, it was pretty light skinned, which has more to do with the diversity within the engineering community itself, not the company.  It appeared to be an equal mix of men and women, throughout all levels of the groups.  Equal opportunity here isn’t a buzz word, it’s natural.  After all, you want lots of diversity and the very best people so you can find the best solutions.

After lunch I met with yet another group, the flight design folks.  apparently they have a lot of openings, so I want to pass their information along to UW River Falls for those that are graduating this spring.  It’s such a great place to work, from what I can tell, and I bet there are people who would do well there.

So, I left that finally at 3:45, since I needed to get to the airport.  By that time I was exhausted.  Keeping your energy level and focus for that long is insane.  Since I’m getting tired I’ll spare the details.  I was quite happy to get home however.  I’m still recovering from not sleeping for weeks, and clearly I’m not trying that hard to fix it if I’m up now.  lol

Now, the best part.  Tonight I got a phone call saying I had a position with the thermal control systems instructor group.  I’ll have details coming from HR monday or tuesday.  He also expects Phalcon group to make an offer.  Decisions!  Either way, I’ll end up as a flight controller, the question is whether it’s electrical or thermal, and whether I’ll be an instructor first or a flight controller.  Either way, how awesome?!  I’m living my dream!  Now if my dream could just move to someplace cooler, like Washington where it isn’t 100 degrees in april.  hehe

Now I’m very exhausted and going to head to bed.  I’m working tomorrow to catch up from the day I missed to interview.  Hopefully next week I’ll be able to give 3 weeks or a month notice.  yay!

Carrie’s home

Carrie finally made it home after a 3 hour delay due to weather in Houston.  It’s great she’s home, but I haven’t slept well yet.  Hopefully that means I can get to bed early tonight to try to get back on track.  My interview is Thursday, so I need to get up early every day to make up an hour or so each day at work as I don’t have much vacation time available.  It’s going to be an interesting week, that’s for sure.  Today I’ll get my presentation finished and do a few tutor assessments so I’m not stressing this week.  I just wish I could have slept better last night.  Oh well.  At least Carrie’s home!  Yay!

Astral/dream experiences

Is this a dream?  I doubt it, but I’ll write down what little I remember as it’s my own way of tracking my growth.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up with awareness of an interesting conversation.  I was talking to at least one person about spirits and universal spirituality for lack of a better word.  Yet this person wasn’t physical either, though may or may not have had a physical half somewhere (not sure if they were astral or dead).  So that was weird.  And as I became more aware, that fear that always comes when my awareness joins with my astral mind popped up.  In time it won, as I wasn’t able to gain any real control over it.  I just wasn’t as present as the last time I became aware of being astral.

My guess is that I just popped up at one of those classes Icarus talks about me teaching.  I wish I could remember exactly what I was saying, but at the least it made sense to my conscious mind.

Oh, I just remembered something else.  Not sure which night it was, whether it was last night or the night before.  I was reading this poetry, written down.  But, if I tried to read it more than once so I could remember it, the poem would change completely and become something else.  Then, if I read it too slow and paused at any point it was also rewrite itself.  Or perhaps I rewrote it.  It was a bizarre experience.  It’s as if each poem was only one thought, and if that thought changed, the poem changed.

Looks like I’m spending some time in the astral/lucid dreaming realm and becoming far more aware of it than before.  I’ve been told enough that I spend a lot of time working at night, maybe now it’s becoming time for me to be aware of that work and make it conscious?

The good news

Today was interesting.  At work I was getting more projects thrown at me to work on, again without having much information by which to make decisions.  Guessing is oh so much fun!  Then, we had a call from someone that made little sense in many areas, but I was told to go meet the guy and see his site.  He said to meet him someplace that I couldn’t find, so I just went to the site and waited for him to call wondering where I was.  Well, at 3, when I was supposed to be meeting him, I got a phone call from the space alliance.  It was one of the managers I spoke to during my phone interview.  Turns out he will be out of town for my interview but wanted to talk to me some more and see if I had the four ingredients to be a flight controller.  I bet you’re curious what those are.

1.  Smarts (duh) lol  My educational background shows I have this. (god I hope so lol)

2.  Communication - This is a dynamic team environment, in a 24/7 work environment.  Communication is absolutely crucial or people could die.

3.  Teamwork/leadership - You can’t just be a team member or leader, in this work environment both skills are needed.  I know I have this ability, thanks to the Marine Corps.  You won’t get any annoying power plays from me or backstabbing.   Just good teamwork. 

4.  Decision making - I have too often been placed in situations where I was given virtually no information but told to make a decision.  I hate that.  But, I also know that, given the information needed, I can make decisions.  The only thing I have to remember is to ask for a few minutes to think if I’m unsure at all.  This isn’t school, no one is playing the ‘gotcha’ game.

Now, it takes about 2 years to become a flight controller, so the potential that I have will have time to come to light.  I feel really comfortable with virtually everyone I talked to so far.  And the best part?  He said he was pretty darn sure they were going to extend an offer to me, at least from his group.  He’s been hiring people for 15 years and has a sixth sense about who will work out.  Hooray!  That means at this point, the only thing left is to finish my presentation, and be my normal, charming self.  hehe  I’m very excited, which is good since I need that energy to finish up this presentation.  He also gave me the phone number of another physicist in his group so I can understand what the transition from physics to engineering is like.

This is really happening.  I’m really one small step away from my dream career.  I know it’s going to be hard work, but I really believe that if I’m working somewhere that is a supportive environment, with everyone working towards the same goal, and that I am interested and believe in, I can excel.  The only remotely similar environment was the Marine Corps, at least from boot camp and school, and I did quite well there.  I’m sure I’ll do even better with the USA.  I just have to apply all that I’m learning about myself and stay focused.  Who knows where this leads (besides Houston in the immediate time frame).  I might be there long enough to see us land on the Moon from Mission Control.  To witness the first moon base being built.  To be part of history.  And all I have to do is live in Texas for a long time.  And raise Texas kids.  Oh lord…  hahaha

Oh, and today I picked up 3 nice dress shirts from freecycle, so I have a few more options for shirts.  I need to go by goodwill to find some pants, but I’ll do that when Carrie gets back because I’m not as good with the shopping and matching outfits as she is.  Hey, I feel like I’m finally becoming a grownup! 

I’ll obviously keep this updated with just enough information to inform, but not enough that I’m giving away information inadvertently.

Oh, and I told him that I saw Shannon Lucid as Capcom, and that she was a hero of mine.  He said he actually opened the door for her just the other day.  lol  It’s just a trip to think about this stuff.  I can’t help but smile and laugh and just be amazed at it all.  I can’t wait for Thursday.  I hope I can sleep Wednesday!

Combat Diary and the roller coaster of issues

Since Carrie is gone, I decided to watch a movie she wouldn’t want to watch - Combat Diary, The Marines of Lima Company. She’s not keen on the war movies, which amazes me because she’ll watch horror all day. I guess it comes down to the reality factor. I’m the opposite. I can watch war movies without problem, but horror messes with my head. My theory has to do with our past lives. I didn’t die in war like she did last time around, and I spent my career as a soldier, which I think gave me different coping mechanisms this time. Who knows.

I finally watched this tonight. I cried, I laughed, I remembered, and basically rode a roller coaster of emotions. But you know, it was worth it. I think that at the very least, I owe it to my brothers to know a little of what they went through. I feel for those that lost their best friends. And I cried when they showed the families of those left behind. The little girl that never met her dad. The children too young to know their fathers, and those who were old enough to miss them, but not to understand why they’re gone. But I don’t think there’s an age limit on that understanding.

I wonder if hearing taps will always hit me. Growing up, you understood it as a somber occasion if taps was played, but now it means so much more. It makes me wonder how these Marines can hold it together. Is it something they learn at SNCO school? What’s on the schedule for today. Oh, how to not cry while announcing the names of the Marines who died under your command. Sounds like a fun class. I guess it’s just that bearing thing they tried to instill in us in boot camp that I usually failed miserably at accomplishing. I have my moments, but I’m not as serious as everyone thinks I am. Nor am I saying this is an ideal to reach for, but it seems handy sometimes. The ability to hold it together when everything is crashing around you is so crucial.

I guess right now I’m realizing what a strange night I’ve had. I voluntarily watched something that made me cry. lol Yet I’m still in a good mood underneath it, as this afternoon was awesome. If I think about this dual state I’m in, I think I’ll hurt my head, so I’m not going to worry about it. I’m going to let this pass, and then write about my good news.

Maybe, someday, I’ll understand why I have such a hard time letting someone go. I’m sure I could very easily cry over Susan or Henry. There’s no reason for it that I understand. Logically it isn’t a big deal. I must not be good with finding closure or this would have been resolved long ago. Stupid closure. Stupid sad feelings that I don’t understand. blah

See my roller coaster? Now give me a few minutes and I can be riding high on my good news again. It’s crazy. At least no one’s home to see me be an idiot, everyone can just read it lol So I’m going to stop rambling now, because I’m not getting any closer to an answer as when I started. I should probably start to get ready for bed anyway. Maybe put in From the Earth to the Moon and put my focus on my future and relax. Or I’ll meditate and see what comes of it, either initially or in my dreams.

Thank god carrie returns tomorrow. I ramble too much when I don’t have someone to talk to.

Valentine’s Potluck and Scorpio musings

Today, while talking with Olga, I thought that Valentine’s day would be so much fun if it was more about relaxing and having fun with your closest friends.  After all, Carrie and I aren’t too big on the holiday.  We’re not anti, we just don’t make a big deal out of it.  And we have some awesome friends.  So cut all the pressure, let’s just make it a big ‘friend love’ fest (but no orgies lol)  I mean, what’s better than the love of one person but the love of your closest friends too?  It could be awesome!  And the night could still end early enough for couples to do their thing too.

I guess, right now, sitting at home missing my wife and friends, I really want that interaction from everyone who’s important to me.   But, it’s ok.  Carrie comes home in 2 days.  Hooray!

On a side note, I was born almost 9 months to the day from Valentines day.  I wonder if the reason scorpios tend to be sensual is that they are conceived during this time of focused love?  I mean, it kinda makes sense.  With an increased focus on passion and love during the creation of a life, that intention could carry through the development and influence the energy development, and thus the personal development.  But I have no idea, it’s just a random theory. 

A nice win

You know, rebuilding years are hard for everyone.  And Texas is definitely in a rebuilding year, getting used to Coach G.  But tonight was nice.  Sure, shooting was horribly cold in the first half, but the defense was great, keeping everything close.  By the end, we knew they could win, and the whole crowd was excited.  It felt as good as winning a tournament!  I guess during these rough seasons you appreciate a win like this, especially against Baylor.  Turns out, Texas held Baylor to it’s fewest points scored since Jan 18, 2003!  How crazy!

I sat next to a really nice older lady, which made me feel less weird about being there by myself.  The season ticket holders are interesting because they tend to sit next to each other year after year.  It’s like entering a little club, but one that’s usually welcoming.

Now, if I just knew what was going on with Arrairan, since she’s still not playing.  Apparently she’s listed as day to day, which sucks.  She’s so fun to watch play, and is such a shooting threat.  The person next to me said at practice the other day she hit 47 out of 50 3 pointers.  That kind of shooting would have turned tonight’s game into a blowout.  But, with a red shirt year, hopefully she’ll stick around for a 5th year.  I think she deserves that chance to reach her potential.  I still wish I could give her a hug though.  It’s got to be horribly hard to sit on the bench for a year.  Experience shows that it can be quite beneficial to point guards as they get to observe a lot more.  Playing is always nice, but I’m betting that time spent with her clipboard is going to make her a much better guard next year.  Time will tell!