My life is out of balance. Always has been. This is because I lack focus and forget priorities. So, as I continue my never ending quest to find balance, I’m continuing to force myself to unpack boxes and organize the house. Why does it take more than a month to unpack? It’s crazy. Anyway, I figure the more I can unpack and organize in the house, the better I’ll feel about it. So I’ve made it a priority many times, rather than watching tv or even doing stuff online like I should. Which means tomorrow I get to do a bunch of tutor assessments, which is ok.
I have a secondary motivation for unpacking though. While it’s nice to have a clean house, I’m still missing the second group of letters I wrote in boot camp. Without them our book becomes harder to write. So I’ve opened boxes I don’t think I’ll need just to make sure they aren’t in there. I’m running out of boxes now, and getting a little worried. But they can still turn up.
As for focus, since I don’t have much right now, it’s been on my mind a lot. I mean, I’m one of those people that’s always had a lot of potential. I pick things up easily and find many things interesting. Unfortunately that was a problem because I never really focused on any one thing for long. Much of that potential is untapped, and I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot of greatness for not having focused. Many times I’ve thought that it would be nice to go to jail just so I’d be forced to focus. Self discipline is often an issue for me. I don’t really want to go to jail, I guess a meditation retreat or something similar would work too. But even in situations where I didn’t have many distractions, I found them. I just don’t do well focusing on just one thing for too long, unless it’s fun. But even then, I lose interest and want to do something else.
Most of the time this isn’t helpful. But maybe my problem is that I haven’t found a way to channel myself into things properly? It’s not excuse for avoiding focus, but I don’t think I can change so drastically before I need to find a new job. I guess I’m going to do my best to work on it. lol Noncommittal enough? I am working on it, there’s just so much to work on all at once, no wonder I can’t focus. :-) Sleep, however, would help. I guess I should head there soon.
13 January 2008 at 15:52
Did you just say that a focused projectile has more momentum then buckshot?
or that wild mares have to be reined in else they go all over the place?
I would share that the puzzle piece you are seeking is the understanding of the ‘golden apples of hesperides’…one of the labors of “hercules”, whose name meant “Soul’s Glory”. In order to stand in our “Souls’s Glory”, we must complete the riddles of all 12 labors. This one relates to “gemini”, which just happens to relate to your emotional level.
The riddle has to do with figuring out when you’re meeting Nereus and when your in bondage to Busirus, the arch deceiver representing bondage to world glamour.
That’s the best I can phrase it to convey meaning…
Blessings.
13 January 2008 at 16:00
I’ll have to look that up, as I’m not familiar with mythology at all. It’s on my todo list to learn, but those are very long lists! lol
What I’m focusing on right now is to stop all the questions. I question things to death rather than deciding. It bogs me down. So I’m focusing on slowly applying for a dream job in Houston working for the space program. Then I’ll focus on what needs to be done elsewhere and stop worrying so much. At least that’s the goal. Choose and act. And then let it play out. Nothing I can do to force it forward anyway, that just pushes everything away. So we’ll see what happens.
13 January 2008 at 17:49
I would share that as you saying, your thinking is getting own your own way. And add that it’s a symptom of running away from feeling something. It is your Intuitive level, a sensing level, a feeling level, that Masters Intellect, not the other way around. Intellect is only useful for matering Instinct. Doesn’t work when it comes to acessing Intuition.
THERE is the information you seek as to what issues need resolution in order to proceed in the direction of your desires.
Blind decisions aren’t really that great an improvement over doing nothing. Just another alternative to not getting in touch with your feelings.
13 January 2008 at 18:27
That’s true, but this isn’t a blind leap. It’s pretty much what I’ve wanted to do since I was a child. The only reason I didn’t apply before was due to location only. I’m not keen on Houston. It’s hot, way more humid than Austin, and has a lot of floods and hurricanes. Plus, it’s scary. To try for a difficult job that has major repercussions if you screw up is intimidating. But, I also know I can do it, assuming there is good training for the position. I’m also afraid to move and then lose my job and be stuck in Houston. However, Houston is a much better job market for me, so I think I need to just accept that Austin has virtually nothing for me. Besides, if this isn’t the right direction to go, I won’t get the job.
lol