Dreams - January 08

And here are the dreams for January so far.

January 1

Hmm…odd dreams last night, very garbled. I know I won’t get the order right so I’ll just write sections.

I was planning to go camping with my parents. But it’s cold, so I was looking for stuff to bring. In all this I was at some other building too, and my wife’s mom had just disappeared. I was pissed off that we couldn’t find her for a while, like a day or two. There were a lot of people in the dream, but I don’t know how they were involved. At one point this huge building becomes a school or facility or something, hard to tell since it was oddly shaped. But it wasn’t supposed to be open. I put someone in charge of a different area of the building to keep people out when I go to another entrance that seems to go to a courtyard of sorts. A group of 15 or so young women with young children all start to come in saying they need shelter. I keep them in one place, or try to. The place was just too big for 2 or 3 people to secure.

At some point I end up finding a pistol of some sorts. I’ve never shot a pistol so it’s not something I’m comfortable with. I don’t remember why but I shoot quite a few people. It’s weird because I can see the hole and the back of the bullet in the hole. Very surreal. Some I was trying to hit, one kid I accidentally shot when I was trying to align the strange sights on the gun. Not sure why I was since I was a really good shot before I aligned it. Anyway…Oh, and at some point I also see Carrie’s mom drive up the driveway, though I don’t remember where she had been or what her excuse was. I don’t think it was good enough to make me not annoyed at her.

Then I was in full body armor on an amphibious vehicle with my friend (and fellow Marine) Sarah. There were other people there too of course, though this wasn’t an overly large vehicle. It was a training exercise of sorts, and we were cruising pretty fast over the water. At some point we stop and we’re supposed to get into these smaller rafts for a survival exercise I think. I never actually got in the water, I think I stayed on the various boats. After we were back on another vehicle, but there wasn’t a lot of space to sit so I squeezed in next to her. Due to lack of space we just kinda cuddled up and rested. It wasn’t an overly dramatic dream, but kinda fun and peaceful, especially after all the shooting earlier. lol
January 4

Once again, I’m missing details. However, I remember the gist of the dream this morning.

Carrie and I were going to Antarctica. Now, I’ve been to Antarctica for research, but we weren’t going for that reason. I didn’t have that sense of trying to return to something in the past, or even of visiting the areas I saw before. So, we’re supposed to be going to Antarctica, and I’m trying to get us packed. I’m able to find clothes for me, a few of everything (either we weren’t going for long or we were going to do laundry, or I was trying to fit all our stuff into one bag, which I think is the ‘real’ explanation. While I could get clothes for me I have having a hard time finding things for Carrie. When she showed up I tried to get her to find clothes to pack since I wasn’t finding everything we needed. I think that’s what she was doing when I realized I didn’t remember her having a passport and now that it was after the first of the year she would need one. So I tried to call and learn the passport regulations for Antarctica. I wasn’t finding the information I needed and got frustrated. I think the passport was just me becoming more conscious in the dream.

So the theme is that I’m ready to go, trying to get Carrie to go, but never quite getting off the ground so to speak. Not a hard one since my awake frustration level at not moving forward makes this a very obvious issue. I know it’s coming…only a few more days. At least I’m in a good mood today! Time to go cut down big pieces of clay into little shavings of clay and jam out to my new Melissa Etheridge and Guns n Roses tapes I got for a dollar. hahaha

January 5

Last night was related to my concerns over getting a job. I was watching demonstrations of some very advanced propulsion systems I think. They were amazing! I was watching these things zip all over the place. They would dive into water and come out at insane speeds, as if there was a launching system in the water that I couldn’t see. It’s kind of like watching a jet take off from an aircraft carrier - the acceleration is insane. Except here they would start on top the water, go a short distance, dive into the water, and then come out a short distance later going almost straight up at speeds I can’t comprehend! Then there were things that dove into the water, came back out, repeatedly. It was almost like watching sea birds feed on the fish underwater. Then there was this system that looked like a roller coaster but faster than I could comprehend humans ever withstanding. As a random note, my cousin Christy was there with one of the lab groups. That was odd. At the end I think I was going to ask them if they had any positions open.

What’s amusing to me is remembering that there are many alien UFO sitings over water where craft just come out of the water. Quite intriguing. At least it was a fun dream to break up some of the frustration I’ve been feeling.

ANDREA:

It sounds to me like you are supposed to dip into the subconscious parts of your brain and bring them to the surface.

ME:

What fun is that? lol

How bout I…do nothing, and then just bitch about not getting anywhere. Actually last night I started reading two of the qigong books I got for Christmas. I’m trying to get a feel for which to start with. Maybe that will help since Qigong is definitely meditation for me. I’ve also been looking for a copy of Shaman Healer Sage in town since I can’t find it very cheap online. I guess that all adds up to me needing to do something.

January 8

Hmm…another dream about temporarily going to another location. There were lots of little weird elements that I don’t really remember anymore. The main part was that for some reason we were staying in a crappy apartment for basically a night or so, though I don’t remember why. We didn’t bring much stuff, I thought, but then as we’re going to get ready to go there’s way more than I expected. The big thing was lots of pictures on the wall. They were nice pictures, but big and a pain. Why would we bring pictures for such a short stay? But then I figured, they hardware that was used to hang them would come in use for our apartment and decided that was a good thing. I remember there was an oulet that looked like it almost set on fire, blackened and with the wall cut away from it. So I didn’t feel very safe there.

Other randomness involved seahorses. First we had one that we got from a restaurant or something. But then later in the dream there were somewhat transparent seahorses that just popped out 5 or 6 of different transparent colors - like orange and green. Very surreal. Then, someone grabbed one at ate it - just ate a live baby seahorse! I was kinda freaked out by that. I guess that’s why it stands out.

Before I went to bed I was taking some time to focus on what I want in the near future. The big thing, besides a job, is getting the apartment set up so it’s livable and not overly cluttered. I guess it’s bothering me enough that I’m dreaming about apartments? I don’t know. Either way, I don’t want people to eat seahorses. lol

January 9

More travel. There was a lot that happened early on, but it was mostly ‘travel’. The part I remember better was towards the end. I had to cross some water to get to where I wanted to go. There was a bridge that was very odd. There were normal sections interspersed with sections that could rotate. This was only maybe 2 feet wide, and each section that could shift was maybe 5 feet long. It’s kind of like this game at fairs where there is a ladder that can pivot about it’s center so unless you stay very balanced it rotates and you fall off. These weren’t quite as easy to rotate, but still quite precarious. They seemed to get less movable as I went on, which was nice. So I make it to the end and there are two guys getting ready to do something, perhaps to get into a boat. I remember asking them a question about whether they have a radio to listen to the music they just grabbed. Apparently they didn’t so they were upset. I just kept going up the ladder that was at the end which went past a big wall of cassette tapes. Then finally I was there. I don’t know where that exactly was, but I think it was an airport.

In the airport I was a little worried because I wasn’t wearing shoes and didn’t want to get in trouble. I also didn’t have much cash on me and was looking for an atm which I gave up on. Then, I saw my friend Ellen who I’ve been talking to a lot since she popped up again online and said she had cancer. (we’re all confident she’ll beat it so it’s not a source of anxiety) I walked up to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She was surprised to see me. That was about it for that part of the dream.

Previously I remember there was a strange air ship. Much larger than a plane and not really setup like it inside. Or maybe there was a building and a plane and I’m just confused. At some point I’m having to make my way back to the plane area, and there is one person in particular I’m reasoning with. She’s an enemy of some sort, but also a friend, or someone I’m interested in. I make some sort of deal with her that I won’t have any trouble with her. I wish I could remember how I did that because it’s not like me and would be interesting to see how I handled it. lol As I’m making this deal, 4 or 5 other women of varying threat levels walk past us. I’m not sure what kind of danger they possessed, or anything else really, I can just say what I was feeling which is never very clear. So in time we head over to the plane type thing. There are banquet tables setup and we’re all sitting down to eat some fancy food I don’t recognize. (that doesn’t make it fancy I guess, just unrecognizable lol) After eating people sit back down on seats, but they don’t all face the same way. It’s a strange setup. I sit next to the girl I made the deal with, and I still can’t figure out what our relationship is. At times it seems like a dating type relationship, but not always. And there’s not the level of trust you would expect with that. Very strange. I think I wasn’t sure in the dream either, which doesn’t help me figure it out while awake.

Travel is definitely a theme lately. But at least last night I got somewhere! I found my friend, yay! Now i need to speed shower and start travelling because I have to drive an hour or so one way to pick up lime. lol Maybe I’ll get a job interview call today.

January 14

Wow, after many days of very little to remember, last night/this morning was intense.  I was with my friend Ellen in what apparently was a middle eastern country.  We had been invited to an area with military members.  We were to gather our gear from a small trailer.  Ellen was able to get her stuff without problem.  I seemed to be unable to get everything I needed.  We were given a tent which was literally a normal camping tent which certainly doesn’t provide any protection.  While in the tent I was looking around and saw something flying with lights on (which is not normal in a combat zone) I told Ellen to watch because I expected firing and wasn’t disappointed.  But then the firing shifted so that it was incoming near us.  I started to get worried and started thinking about a safer place for our tent.  Then there were a few vehicles driving past, but acting strangely.  I was very scared they would explode, but they didn’t.  There was more incoming fire and I tried to keep Ellen down and shield her, though I don’t think I had any armor on.  It was definitely not fun, though nothing actually hit our tent.

I remember trying to gather equipment at points.  I opened up the knife case that I was given and it was just a wooden knife, no actual blade.  I took the time to sight into my rifle once but didn’t want to worry people for pointing a rifle around so I stopped quickly.  At one point I even left it near the tent and stepped away.  That wasn’t smart, as a middle eastern family came up and was trying to take it.  I was yelling at Ellen to get the rifle back no matter what, so she was fighting a woman for her rifle while I got mine back.

It was a very stressful dream.  Other random details included the guard outside the building which seemed to be the command post.  I tried to figure out his rank, but as the visual focused I saw a black rifle expert badge which is normally silver and not worn on combat uniforms.  I pointed it out and he acted as if that was normal.  Oh, and in the early part of the dream I kept trying to figure out how to let Carrie know what was happening.  I eventually gave up and figured she’d understand that the government doesn’t give you a lot of options sometime.  After all the firing started I was trying to figure out how to get back to where she was because I was not amused by this at all.

So, first impressions.  Do I feel like I’m facing a battle for which I’m ill equipped?  Am I trying to protect those that I see as weak?  Ellen recently learned she has cancer and I’ve been talking to her often so she’s not so alone and bored going through her treatments.  I don’t really know.  I guess I’ve been dealing with some confusion and frustration in my life.

What’s funny?  In spite of the fear in the dream it was also exhilerating.  I never saw combat in the Corps.  But I try to learn whatever I can and have always found it intriguing.  And since this dream was more realistic than others it was interesting.  And since I didn’t die that makes it even better.  lol

January 15

War, part 2.  Funny enough, my dream this morning was so similar to a dream I had yesterday but had forgotten that I now remember both somewhat.

I was in a boat with two other Marines, one female and one male though I don’t know either in real life.  Yesterday the boat was deeper, or the walls were higher so I had more protection and there may have been more people.  Last night I called it an outrigger type boat, with a large sail.  When we started it was tricky because either the sail got caught or the outrigger portion got caught up on lines in the water.  But once we got going things were ok.  I was shifting between looking out for navigational barriers and keeping watch on the shores.  There were a few times where I was close to firing, but waiting a moment longer allowed me to see there was no threat.  I didn’t like that I had so little cover in this boat, but that’s the way it goes sometimes.  The shore, at least starboard, was lined with buildings with a lot of lush green vegetation.  The people were of darker complexion.  In the end, we made it to the end of this channel of water when I told the other Marines to grab their gear and get going.

This was interesting because it was similar to a dream yesterday.  Also, I was in charge, which is definitely new for a dream of this type.  But also, these dreams are getting more and more realistic, which is also a shift.  I’ll see if I remember the next parts of the dreams which are completely different later.

I’ve spent a little time reflecting on this dream and in particular, how I felt.  Some people, including myself, find war dreams frustrating, scary, or otherwise unpleasant.  But this dream was different.  It felt good, and right.  It felt like I was doing something, that I was mostly in my element, and that was a good feeling.  Marines hate to sit still for too long.  I think it’s partly how we’re trained.  And while that tempers a bit after leaving active duty, it doesn’t appear to ever go away fully.

Last night, I asked for a little guidance as to what I should be doing in regards to my dream job dilemna.  I don’t think this dream says I should be patrolling down a canal with a rifle, though I do feel like I need to buy or borrow a rifle and spend some time reaquainting myself with the zen art of shooting a target.  I think this was affirming my decision to start working through some books I have on the history of the space shuttle along with an astronautics textbook.  My decision to act now, in spite of the fear, feels good.  Why sit and wait at a job that isn’t going anywhere, waiting for a position that just might never come?

I’ve been in a position like this before, during my first year of college.  I was bored with my classes, realized the physics department wasn’t what I hoped it would be, and decided to reach for a dream.  I joined the Marine Corps.  And it was the best decision I could make.  So, I think now is the time to reach for another dream.  At least, that’s what it feels like after yesterday and then the dream this morning.  Is the interpretation right or wrong?  Who knows.  But I am of the belief that a dream is going to speak to the individual in a way that makes sense for them.  It took a few hours before I came to this understanding I have now.  Maybe I’ll change my mind after further reflection.  I’m still pretty new to this dream interpretation thing.  Perhaps there is another layer to this dream that can add to my understanding.  After all, who says a dream can only have one meaning at a time for a person?

I guess this is more of a blog type post.  lol  Oh well, I’ll copy it there soon too. 

January 21

I’m not remembering my dreams well.  First, a random thing.  I had a dream with a seahorse in it again.  What the ?!  lol  I can’t remember anything except this seahorse, though this one looked like a normal one, relatively large and the normal gray color.

I remember the other night having a military dream.  I think I joined some live in boot camp type thing, but wasn’t nearly as intense as boot camp, perhaps like a reality tv show?  It was odd.  I remember we were in teams, and were given the first task of cleaning our living area.  No one in my team was doing anything, and I was getting pissed.  I didn’t want to be quarterdecked for people being lazy.  So I started cleaning.  I remember going around gathering things by category, since it seemed to be laid out that way.  I went around gathering up hats of all types.  At another point I was in the back of this strange living area and there were two older ladies back there who I felt I could at least talk to.  Overall, quite interesting.

Hopefully I can start remembering more.

January 23

So this isn’t a dream so much as an experience.  Before falling asleep I did some energy circulation followed by chakra activation as described by Robert Bruce.  I didn’t make it very far, only 3 or 4 chakras before being too tired to focus further.  I went to sleep but very quickly woke up of sorts.  My visuals were I think of the living room, though it was quite dark in my dream, like someone had turned the contrast down quite low.  I got scared because I thought someone was trying to come in through the patio door.  I eventually gained enough consciousness that I actually started to calm myself rather than panicking to get back to my body and wake up.  This is the first time I have been able to begin to rein in that fear and get some control.  I think this is a key first step to conscious astral projection.  I don’t expect to be able to do it tomorrow or anything, but every step is interesting.  Normally when this happens, it happens again when I go back to sleep right away so I took the time to focus on my root chakra and ground myself to my body.  I was able to sleep without much incident then, though I did wake up every 2 hours or so for no real reason.  Interesting night.

As a quick followup to this experience, I talked to Gunny to see if he saw me in the living room while I think I was astral.  He said he did, though he could barely see me.  So I asked him why I thought someone was trying to come in the house.  He said it’s a normal reaction, fear that someone will come into your body while you’re out of it.  That manifests as a fear of people coming into the house.

This will make it easier for me to tame my fear in the future since I know the fear isn’t based on any actual threat in the moment.  I’m going to go to bed in a few minutes and read and do some chakra work to see what happens.  I don’t care if I stay in my body or not, just making the time for myself instead of sitting online where I don’t get to practice energy work.

January 25

Had a Harry Potter dream, where I was Harry and trying to run away from Snape.  Ron was with me, and I’m not really sure where we were.  I think this all started at this insanely huge McDonalds Megaplex.  It truly went on for an insane amount of space.  So I’m walking around, and nothing is very much like reality so it’s hard to make sense of.  At one point someone tells me to step up to this yard/outlook area.  It was beautiful!  You could see mountains in the distance, partially obscured by mist and clouds.  There was a strange hot air balloon type thing in the distance, but there wasn’t a balloon, just three things that perhaps provided some thrust?  Not sure.

Then there were people on broomsticks flying around.  At one point I got into a fight with someone.  Turns out kicking someone in the groin works in dreams too.  hahaha  That’s when this whole chase thing started.  We ran to some other building which was a crazy school/dormitory thing, but more modern than a castle.  There were obstacles, including a door with a few locks but only one key.  I couldn’t figure out which lock it went into so ron grabbed it and got us in.  We found the dorm area, but I wasn’t sure what room I was supposed to be in - I hate it when I get too conscious in a dream.  I remembered that Ron and Harry would have nearby beds and just got into the one that was next to his.  We got under our respective covers just in time before Snape got up there.  I dont’ remember exactly what happened next.

Normally I like action dreams, but not when it’s a matter of getting away from something and stressful.  lol  I’ll try to focus on the pretty mountains instead.