Dreams - December 07
9 January 2008 — butchjaxContinuing the dream journal - December 2007
December 1
I don’t remember enough pieces, I don’t think I was sleeping well. But I remember bits and pieces, hopefully that’s enough. The order is going to be off probably too.
In this dream it was mainly myself, carrie, and two Marine buddies, sarah and holloway. We were all hanging out somewhere. At one point it was in a big room that was a cafeteria but was also showing a movie. Maybe it was like a reunion of sorts? As the moive is going, holloway is getting cold and asks if I’ll go get her a blanket. Thus begins the impossible quest. lol I head out and try looking all over. I don’t really know where one is, so I try to decide between looking or taking the time to go back to the house and getting it, which I think takes longer than the movie lasts. Either way I figure it’ll take too long but I look anyway.
Somewhere in this I run into a woman I went to boot camp with. She was in the other platoon, but we left from Milwaukee on the same day so at least chatted that night and occasionally saw each other in boot camp. Then we were in combat training together and had almost the same MOS. We were really similar, but there were also aspects about her that drove me nuts and I didn’t trust her. But, when she saw me in the dream she was excited and happy. She said she knew we weren’t the best of friends but was glad to see me. I was happy too and said we just shouldn’t be allowed to spend too much time together (that’s when things would go downhill).
I think things shifted completely at some point. I was in this strange boat. It’s deck was flat and open, without full walls on the sides. Instead the walls came up a bit and then became wooden rails. First it was just me on the boat, and this little toy truck or something. It was rocking quite a bit, so water would almost come in, but didn’t. Then it shifted to the other side. However, this wasn’t nearly as scary as my other water dreams. Just odd. Something else was going on to, but I don’t remember it enough to make sense of it and write it down.
At some point, people try to get in. I think only two or so. I get rid of them, either by shooting them or something else. One throws a stick of explosive which I grab and throw back into the water, where it then explodes. Then things are calm again. In time is shifts so there are lots of Marines on the boat with me, coming back from Iraq. I wasn’t with them, but I know some of them. There’s also a little boy. There still aren’t tons of us, less than 10 including the boy. We’re going past people and they’re just looking like they don’t know what to do. The boy starts clapping, and that gets people to clap a little, but not much. As we go along, we seem to magically acquire more people.
Eventually I’m back and go to the house, now holding a blanket for holloway. lol I feel like I’ve been gone a week. It’s really nice and sunny, which is weird because I’m not usually aware of the light levels in a dream. Anway… It’s weird when I get there because I’m not sure what to talk about. (this happens in real life with them a lot right now. I just don’t know what to say to them because we’re becoming so different) At some point it’s just me and carrie in the living room and someone comes to the door. For some reason I’m not wearing a shirt (but nothing sexual) so I say to hold on a minute, as he’s walking in the door. I ask him to turn around so I can get my shirt on, which he does. Apparently he’s a friend of holloway, so she and sarah both come out of the other part of the house. I give her some shit about her friends just walking in as I’m mildly annoyed.
Then there’s another shift. Same house, but different people. I see a boy who is my cousin luke when he was 8 or 10 or something. this confuses me because luke is in his 20’s a has these huge arms that he grew while on tour in Iraq. Everyone in the dream is younger, but I know it’s not that time. I try to figure out how to make it today but can’t. I find a notebook with my name that says age 8, which can’t be right since luke is quite a few years younger than I am. I try to explain this situation to a guy I work with (I think) and he says something about it happening to him too. But no solution. I was getting really frustrated at how I appeared to be stuck in this past. (or maybe the past.)
So I guess the obvious parts here are that I’m not comfortable talking with my friends, yet I’ll still go on impossible quests for them. I’m stuck in the past and don’t like it. And people like to attack me in my dreams. lol At least these bad guys were inept and easy to take care of. 
ANDREA:
It almost sounds like both of these dreams are showing you that you feel lost without the comfort zone of certain friendships. Your mind darts from the Marine Corps to the present, to Holloway and Sarah… You state that you feel (in real life) that you don’t know what to say to your friends. But, you still try to be that good friend, and give them comfort (the blanket).
and:
Who is trying to get close to you now? Is there someone in your life that is encroaching on what you see as your territory/sanctuary, and you are unsure as how far to let them in?
Maybe this has more to do with balance than anything personal about one person? You say there were similar things between you and this person, but that she drove you nuts. What things about her drove you nuts and why?
Do you feel underappreciated about something?
ME:
Actually, I’m feeling very well about some friendships and how open and honest they are. I have two friendships like this, and two that are not like this. But I don’t feel unsure about the good ones from what I can see.
She was a bitch. lol Seriously, it was the way she interacted and treated people. We had similarities with the Marine Corps, we were both in Civil Air Patrol, other things I can’t remember anymore. She was demanding and offputting. She had her good qualities, but the way she interacted with people drove me nuts.
Maybe. I feel underappreciated in a few friendships, but that’s in hindsight, not right now. They aren’t reaching out to me, nor am I to them. So I’m not really sure.
December 4
There are a bunch of things I don’t remember. But there’s a part I do, and it may or may not have relevance, especially from Icarus’s standpoint.
I was in a classroom, first with desks facing either forward or back, rather than just forward. We were supposed to share something about jewelry that is significant to us. The teacher gets annoyed with the room setup and we all shift our chairs to a rough circle. When it’s my turn I check to make sure what the question was. I think I got lost in what others were saying. So I talked about my rings - Marine Corps and the one Carrie got me. And I mention I wear two necklace type things - my dog tags and my arrowhead. This is I think the significant part. The arrowhead was the same one I have now, but where it attached to the leather there was a small polished piece of lapis lazuli. And when I looked closer, the tip of the arrowhead was broke off. Oh, and as I explained everything I mentioned that the arrowhead had some spiritual significance and had something to do with the goddess Diana. I didn’t elaborate beyond that.
Then it shifts slowly from the classroom to being on a school bus. Ther’s a girl in the seat with me, to my right, trapping me. Across the aisle is a girl from high school that I recently reconnected with who is now wicca. She asks to see it so I take off the necklace and give it to her. She holds it to her heart area, like she’s feeling it’s energy. Then she hands it back to me. I make sure the person next to me doesn’t do much with it, and then I get it back finally. I hold it too, close my eyes and notice a bit of a blue afterimage in my mind from where the lapis was, which was unusual.
The rest of the dream involved the girl who sat next to me hitting on me. She was quite annoying and I got flustered. She got off the bus at a stop, so I got off only to realize too late she tricked me and it was the wrong stop. So we snagged the next bus. I went to the back where there were some curtains you could close around the seats that were lengthways along the bus instead of in rows. I stopped just short of the curtained area and then tried to figure out how to open the conversation to figure out what was wrong with her that she was hitting on me blatantly when I was so clearly married. But then the alarm went off.
So, what do you think? I liked the lapis being on the necklace. It’s kinda ‘my’ stone. I have no idea how it was on there though. lol And I’m not sure why the arrowhead was chipped. Or why that girl was hitting on me. Damn girls! lol
ANDREA:
A hunter cannot make a clean kill with a broken weapon. It would take carving to get to the meat of the issue. 
Coinquidinkly, I was holding my lapis just before I went to sleep last night. As you know, it is a healing stone and it is your stone/color. It being placed with the arrowhead shows communion of energies. another integration point… woo hoo 
. But, that means that you also have to look more into Diana’s qualities to see what strengths you are forgetting. Then the arrow would become whole again.
Travelling forward in reverse? Seriously, this is moving forward, but you get off the bus at the wrong stop, and then when you get back on, you choose the back.
ME:
I didn’t honestly notice the bus moving at all, or notice that it was a bus until I got off it, or perhaps a bit earlier while my friend was looking at it. But I didn’t get the sense it was moving backwards. Maybe spinning my wheels right now? ;-) Still no call for the interview and am worried a bit.
I think my mom is getting me those mythology books for Christmas, though I’m not sure. If not then I’ll try to find more info elsewhere or buy the book myself. In the meantime I’ll read what I can find online at least and work on it. Maybe I can find something quick and useful to think about while mixing soil and lime this afternoon.
Thanks, that made a lot of sense.
ANDREA:
Jax,
I also forgot to mention to you that because Diana is a tri-goddess, she has counterparts that you should look into too. Diana is the maiden aspect, Selene is the Mother, and Hecate is the Crone.
http://citadelofthedragons.tripod.com/goddess.html
and here’s a bunch on Diana/Artemis that for whatever reason, I think has something useful for you on it:
http://goddess-power.com/artemis.htm
ME:
Great as if she isn’t confusing enough being Diana and Artemis! hahaha
I found this site, which I’ll be reading soon. I printed the information off because when doing these lime tests it takes a while for the machine to settle down.
http://www.goddessgift.com/goddess-myths/greek_goddess_artemis.htm
I’ll check out that other one too.
So Artemis and Diana really are exactly the same entity? Just different names for the Greeks and Romans? It’s kinda funny, but I guess we still have that with God in different cultures.
December 5
The only bit of dream I remember is from this morning. First I was in a hardware store or something similar picking up a few things. Carrie had put a box of something on the counter, but when I looked at it closely it was a filter for a water faucet, which we don’t need. We have a fancy filtration system on our kitchen sink as it is. Carrie and some guy had also picked up a bunch of soda. that was all normal. What wasn’t normal was when I opened the box I morphed to being by a faucet. I took off the screen that’s normally on it. At first just a few pieces of yuck came out, then sand was coming out like crazy. At first I thought it was my faucet, but when I looked around I found a worker at the store and showed him the problem. It was quite odd.
Then things shift to an extreme home makeover type thing. Except instead of the family getting tons of new stuff, bills paid, etc. they just got a normal makeover. Things were fixed up, but not like they do on the show. In some places not everything was even picked up nice and neat. It was very anticlimactic. I guess I don’t remember enough details at this point anymore. Oh well.
ANDREA:
You know, the one thing that pops out at me is this: You have issues with water and its associated energies, and in the dream, when water should have poured out, sand did. Sand=Earth which seems to be your comfort element… but in your dream, you knew that it was a broken faucet.
ME:
There was some water, but it was mixed with the sand. And I was conscious that it meant there was a broken pipe somewhere along the line for the sand to get in there. lol But that could be. How an I have so much trouble with water when that’s supposed to be my element?
ANDREA:
Why did Buddha have so much trouble with being rich?
Just because something is assigned to you, or given to you, it doesn’t mean that it will feel natural to you.
ME:
I like water with rocks. 
Inari:
People can have more than one element (at least in TCM) and sometimes, the element they ’should’ be is actually more reflective of what they want to be like rather than what they actually are now. Perhaps the influence of the water element (representative of emotions) is what you are working towards, and the fact that the water was not flowing in your dream despite the fact that everything was there to facilitate this represents your frustration at not feeling/expressing your emotions as easily as you want to.
December 12
Unfortunately my dreams left once I woke up. I just remember this one little bit in it where I realized I had lost time. I remember my friend Christi and I were in a city or something, and at some point I said we had lost time, like 2 hours of time. But I think I was aware of it being a dream, so I wondered how I could lose time in a dream, where it doesn’t mean anything anyway. lol
Hopefully tonight I’ll remember more.
December 14
I’m forgetting details, but this is the gist of the dream this morning.
First I was in a tent, which must have been a screen tent or something because I could see people outside of it. They were all people from high school band/choir that I hung out with. I stayed in the tent for a bit, before opening the door. First, Kim was excited and gave me a hug before I got out of the tent. Then I focused on Mike, who was a pretty good friend. I look at him and said “I talked to LuAnne”. He got a sick look on his face, perhaps fearing what else I would say. See, two nights ago LuAnne, the Jr. High choir/show choir director and a very good friend of ours called. We talked about Mike who is living in San Francisco with his male partner, but who still isn’t being open about it back home. (small town issues, though I think he’s just being a chicken lol) So that was the issue here. Most of the rest of the dream was me trying to talk to him, but there either being someone else around, or some other issue. I also remember that things seemed to be going downhill for him and his family. Mike’s parents are both financial planners and had a beautiful log home. In this dream the room was dirty and disorganized however.
Maybe I should try to contact him again. I’ve dropped him a line on facebook but didn’t get a response. Maybe if I just say I talked to Luanne that’ll get something going. lol So I suppose there isn’t too much in this dream, but I know if I get out of the habit of writing them down I’ll start to lose the ability to remember them as easily.
ANDREA:
Jax,
It almost sounds as if you are pushing your stand on this issue onto him, though I know that you wouldn’t consciously do this. Do you have negative feelings about him because he hides his true self from his family?
ME:
Well, they know. LuAnne was laughing because she’s the one who told his parents. And I don’t care, just find it silly that he copped out like that. The only thing that would annoy me is that he didn’t bother to just tell me. The last thing he talked to me about was already 7 years ago when he said he wasn’t ready to be gay yet. lol We still aren’t sure what that means, but it was funny. I just wish he’d talk to me. He doesn’t need to hide so much, though I understand his concerns. We went to school in a smaller town and he comes back to work with the jr high show choir. There might be some parents who would be concerned about him working with their kids. But that would be silly since most of the people that LuAnne worked with are gay. lol I think right now I’m just a little concerned for him.
ANDREA:
Wait! Is there some kind of prep time or something? And yeah, what does that mean? 
Sorry, just in a weird mood right now.
ME:
your guess is as good as ours. He had said that more than once to Luanne also. It’s just hilairous. Now he lives in san francisco. lol It’s quite amusing.
December 17
Two nights ago I remember this small bit of a dream. I was in some sort of building with perhaps 20 other people in their 20’s. We all had chairs, and there was a stage. Then Green Day came out and played some songs. But a lot of the time the drummer didn’t play, as he was trying to fix things. It was very odd. I remember thinking to myself that if I didn’t suck so much I’d jump up there. lol Then there was a break, after a song or two, and a woman was on stage. Someone asked her to talk to the band and see if they’d play more because we as a group were all poor and didn’t get to experience this often. Or something like that. I think I woke up before the situation resolved.
This is I think the third dream I’ve had in the past year or so where drums has come up. Actually, it’s more than that. Maybe I should focus on getting things situated at home so I can play. I miss my drums… 
No dreams last night as I didn’t sleep for crap. Constantly in that half awake state but not due to thinking…just not sleeping. Hopefully tonight will be better.
December 18
Slept poorly, but remember a dream. I also think I fell completely asleep more than last night, but that doesn’t take much.
I was back at jazz camp, where I attended for 5 summers as a teenager. However, some time had passed. Some of the people I went there with were faculty, though some were there as students I think too. I was there, but I didn’t even have drumsticks, just some stuff. Also, the physical area was very different. At one point I ran around to find a place to buy drumsticks, only to realize i left my wallet back across this campus area. So I run back but take too long because the place was closing in 5 minutes. I run into two drummers, borrow a pair of sticks (rod morgenstein signature, which I’ve played in the past), but then still don’t hang onto them. I watch some people play a song very ‘white’, aka it had no feel or swing to it, but they were also just reading it off the page so I was understanding of it. I spent much of the dream wandering around feeling screwed because I wasn’t good anymore and didn’t want to end up in the low band again. lol
Then, as a random thing I was driving with Carrie on a road that went right down next to water. I pointed out how close we got, and how pretty the water was. Then the road just disappeared and we were in the water. I tried to gun it so my car would coast farther before sinking, which didn’t work. lol so we get out of the car, the water is kinda cold. I manage to magically push the car up onto the bank so it can dry out. She’s kinda mad at me, but the road just disappeared, no warning signs. I offer to get a cab though. The next day we find out our car was towed, and are given three companies, one of which already gave us a bill. I’m mad at them until I see that they were cleaning out my car so it would work again without issue. Then the price was a good deal, but it was still weird. But hey, clean car! Though then my car turned into more of a desk or something similar, and more things were being found wrong thanks to water damage, but all easily fixable. Strange. What else is funny is that, I wasn’t so scared of the water in the dream. But right now, typing it, my heart rate has increased and my breathing has gotten shallow. Scary water!
December 20
Last night I don’t remember much except one snippet. Right before I went to bed I was testing the lights on the tree. I ended up just putting a different string on so it was nice and lit. So in my dream I was testing lights again. The new string I put on then partly went out, which was very confusing since it was working just a minute before.
Not a very in depth dream. lol I can’t wait until saturday, as I bet I’ll have lots of dreams when I sleep in!
December 23
Hm….this was a long dream, but the details are getting lost so fast.
There was a group of people, friends I think, and we were going to go somewhere, though I can’t remember where anymore. There were quite a few of us in a few different vehicles. The only person I remember clearly right now is my friend Olga who was in the vehicle I was in, along with at least 3 other people and a driver. I think there were 3 cars total on this trip. However, we ended up stopping many times along the way for various reasons. I’m guessing we got to where we were going because then the dream shifted and I was back where we started, but no one else was there. I kept waiting and waiting for people to come back. Eventually Holly, a girl from high school, showed up. That was kinda random. But for once I remember color because her hair was red (normal hair color red, not dyed) or ginger for you british english folks with very green eyes. The contrast made it easy to remember I guess. She hung out for a while, and I think a few other people might have shown up, but it was never who I wanted to show up.
I hope I remember some more details today because this is just to hazy to follow for me.
INARI:
Why do you think you have so many dreams about people from your past?
ME:
Not sure. Maybe I need more friends. lol Maybe it’s been too long since I’ve been home, or maybe it comes with being out of high school for 10 years. I really don’t know most of the time. At least this time there was a current friend there, with Olga. hmm…
December 24
There were details to this dream that are lost, but the part that really hit me emotionally is probably the important part anyway. In this dream I was talking to some older Marine who was explaining how I could go back in the Marine Corps. There was a program where they’d evaluate what job I’d be best suited for, they’d pay for all my schooling and I wouldn’t deploy while in school. He figures some of my problems before were because I was in the wrong MOS (job specialty). I mentioned that I did well in school, graduating number 2 and then number 1 in my schools, but it went to shit when I got to the fleet and they didn’t teach me anything. Though I take responsibility for not trying to find a middle ground with them. Ah, the mistakes of youth.
So, this brought up this horrible dilemma. I wanted to do it. So badly, I felt it pulling at me. But I also knew Carrie would kill me. I know because she said it the other night, that if I had ever returned to the Corps (which isn’t possible) she would leave me because I wouldn’t be taking my family’s needs into consideration. Which is true, this would be a selfish move, even in the dream. But he was saying things that sounded good - free education, only a 3 year contract. And a better job. I think I was trying to formulate if I could talk Carrie into letting me do it when the dream shifted.
The other stuff is too blurry. I was going to an apartment or something, and there were other guys with me trying to get in. But the person inside was pissed off at them and not going to let them in. He let me in, and then I was going to let the others in. Instead I went to another room and watched someone play this bizarre game that looked like risk or some other strategy board game with dinosaurs and other random objects. lol
Also, before I left for this house, I was studying in a common area at a school. I had broke down this little portable table I had when a guy I grew up with and didn’t necessarily like that much, came over. He needed a place to sit, so I told him to help me set it up, as my hands were pretty full. He pulled down the one side’s legs, but then didn’t do the others. I got frustrated and ended up having him hold the table while I pulled the legs down I think. It was just stupid. lol
So, my thoughts are the Marine Corps stuff is just because I’m going back through my boot camp stuff in preparation to co-write a book with my friend. The pull is something that all Marines feel at some point if they really let the Corps get in their blood. I know it’ll never full go away, just hadn’t felt it that strongly in a long time. It’s a good thing signing up isn’t an option at all due to my discharge code as it keeps any temptations at bay.
Ok, time for work. I hope everyone has a good Christmas.
December 25
This was a long set of dreams
First thing I remember is being in a truck with a guy from work, along with Carrie and perhaps someone else. Jeff was driving us somewhere, but there was water and flooding everywhere. He drove precariously through a flooded road. That was kinda scary because you always see on the news where people get swept away by water. So we tried to figure out a route that kept us on the high ground. At some point we end up someplace which has a bunch of our belongings, including my family. We’re trying to pack things up when someone says, oh you have two kids. I was moving kids stuff, like a car seat or something, but I said no, we’re just getting prepared. But then, just a minute or two later I go into a room. There’s a baby boy lying on the floor, and I go over to him and start playing with him like he’s mine. But I’m semi conscious and at the same time realize I don’t have children yet. I pick him up and go to another older boy, though I don’t recall how old. While hanging out with the kids my cousin and I go through the last few boxes. Then I leave, though part of me thinks I should take the kids, as I don’t know who is taking care of them.
Then, the dream changes and we’re in trouble. For some reason, we (not even sure who we are) are being looked for by some warlords or something. We end up finding some back areas of this insanely large building. We enter a room and the people say ’surprise’ but i shush them. I lead this group through this weird restaurant type area, asking for guidance along the way as to where to go to get out of there. At some point there is a decision to make - up the stairs or continue forward. I was going to continue forward, because I don’t think of up as being a way out of a building. But someone convinces me. We eventually come out in the midst of an amusement park of some kind. Then I realize that my wallet has been lost, as has my friend’s (or my cousin, not sure) So we’re not trapped in a very busy place without money. We end up finding a large bush that happens to have the middle hollowed out to hide in. This allows us time to think.
Eventually we move on and find some people we kinda know. We mention that our stuff is gone, and they claim innocence - except they have some of her stuff. So when they leave I start going through their stuff to try to find mine. I think that’s basically where this all ends.
Very odd. Where did the kids go? lol
Well, time to open presents. Just didn’t want to forget any more of this.
December 26
I had a late night due to needing to take asthma medicine late, so my dreams aren’t so clear. I remember being in various urban locations. It seemed like we were near an airport or other mass transport place, but also in an apartment. But the locations blended together a lot. My friend Holloway was there, but it seemed like, while we were all around each other, there wasn’t much interaction. Sometimes there tried to be, but it was odd. Then, it was time for Holloway to leave, but I told her if she waited just a bit longer I could take her. I was going that way anyway, and just needed to snag a bag with a change of clothes. I’m pretty sure she waited for me. It was just an odd dream, not very satisfying.
Perhaps simply a reflection of my relationship with her for…years really. Never quite connecting. Though it was the fault of both of us, in the dream. In reality I think we don’t know how to talk to each other and how to deal with the connection we have. I hope that it’s something we work out in the future.
December 28
Cue the past…
There was a huge group of us, supposedly those in show choir. We we building something by stacking boxes and boards of all shapes and sizes. It was quite precarious. After some building I tried to get up on top of it to go to a different section. However, it was just stacked boxes broken flat, so it wasn’t easy to climb. My friend sara was up there and she was bitching that I needed help. I just said to give me a damn hand so I can be on my way. She did and I kept going. Then it wasn’t hard at all to get around I don’t think.
We arrive at a school for a competition. I scope out the area first, find out we don’t perform until 8. I return to the bus and start unloading with people. But I realize that I’ve never actually rehearsed the show, though everyone else has. I don’t know the drum cues for the transitions to different staging or anything.
For some reason I’m at a different place now, with my family. I’m starting to run late, as I want to get back to the competition at least an hour before we go on so I can run through the show once. Then my brother is being the biggest pain and saying things that piss me off. I keep getting more and more angry. We try to leave, and he’s driving. But he’s driving badly, keeping my car in 2nd gear and driving 40 mph for instance, which is really bad for it. That’s when I really get pissed off. So we go back and I storm off. I grab some things and eventually driving directions and get loaded in the car. I think that’s pretty much where it ended, trying to figure out the route. At least I was calmer at that point, but now running late and needing to leave right at that moment.
No clue why I keep dreaming about people from my past. It’s not like what Carrie is doing, having to walk through her past so she can resolve it and heal. This is just a dream with characters from the past. Oh well.
December 29
Sleeping in and hitting the snooze alarm every 15 or 30 minutes makes for odd dreams. I’ll try to hit them in ‘order’
Something had happened to our apartment, so we took some of our stuff and went back to our old apartment which ended up looking like my grandparent’s house. While sitting in the living room, Carrie was trying to hit something, like a bug. I asked her what it was, and she said a unicorn. What?! I didn’t see anything for a while. Then, across the room was a tiny orange unicorn. At first it was out of focus, I guess my eyes needed to adjust. It was only a few inches tall, like a toy horse, but very much proportioned like a real horse. And it was walking around. Then, hmm…I think I started to play with it. At some point either it changed color, or it turned into something else. Darn, wish I could remember. Like there was a person now wearing white and a bright but light blue color. Eventually the unicorn was back and Carrie was holding it in a small container. Now it was also white with some blue. I asked if that’s what it looked like when she tried to hit it.
Then it was time to go. I was trying to pack as much stuff as possible into one trip and return to our place. It wasn’t an easy feat. Perhaps flashbacks of the actual moving experience this month? lol
There’s another subsection to this dream that I just remembered. Andrea was there, and a few other people. They found some cans and stacked them up. Someone asked what to do with them and Andrea asks them if they never shot at cans before. She magically produces a softball and starts throwing it at the cans. (troublemaker lol) The problem is we’re inside and this makes a lot of noise. And the balls, including tennis balls, bounce down the stairs. I got to pick some up and manage to actually pocket two small balls before the evil babysitter type person confiscates them all. I figured I could at least have fun later when I’m stuck in my room with nothing to do. lol
We end up at some weird buildings. There is a gap between all of them to allow for movement. Some of the foundations really moved as you walked on them, which was quite scary. They didn’t have any hand rails or anything either. So I was trying not to get too close. There was a small but long building in one area. It ended up being really nice looking inside. It seemed quite fancy without being fancy. Lots of clear glass partitions with curtains for privacy. At some point I was outside and all of my family was there - my dad’s side of the family at least. There was a staircase. At first a lot were at the bottom of it, my aunts and uncles. My cousins were at the top of the stairs, sort of circled around it. One of my nicer aunts noticed I didn’t have a white flower and was going to get one. Then my aunt Annette came up and said no, I didn’t get one for some supposed reason. I tried to guess if it was age or something, since it was my younger cousins around who had one, but that didn’t make much sense. I tried to not let it get to me. Then some of my other nicer relatives were coming up the stairs. I hugged some, but not others. Eventually I went back inside and some of my favorite relatives, Aunt Sue and cousin Stacey came inside and admired the rooms. I think that was pretty much it for that part.
Then everything shifted to military type dreams. Not sure of the order, so I’ll just try to maintain some context. I went into a recruiter station or something with someone I knew. Everyone had new uniforms. They were dark grayish green, yet still camouflaged. At first I thought they looked cool, as the color was interesting. Everyone started to disagree and then I realized why. The actual design was silly. They looked like some of the dress jackets at the military schools - flat front, high collar, and then my pet peeve, velcro everywhere. I went off about it too. We’re in a war zone, and we have velcro that makes a ton of noise instead of buttons which make no noise?! Brilliant. So I start chatting with the women off on the side. They are waiting to DEP in ( join the delayed entry program) so they’re just getting started on their journey. One even says she’s a shiite muslim I think, but she’s joining the Marine Corps. She was really shy, so I didn’t talk too much to her. I wandered around a bit, discovering a whole world in the back of this office area. There were tons of clothes to buy. I found an area with some used bb guns, but I didn’t like the one I picked up. I found and area with a short climbing wall. As I was walking over, a bunch of women were gathering to hear announcements. Apparently it was a club of some sorts that goes to different locations and climbs the walls and stuff. I just kept looking around. In all this I also talked to a girl who was somewhat familiar, that I might have actually recruited. But the timing was hard to believe, so we weren’t sure. Instead we just chatted.
I probably had woke up at some point because things started really shifting. I was now part of a group of women that I think were sort of taken from the Young Astronauts books I just finished up. The perspective changed at times, sometimes I was one of them, sometimes I was me I think. We were undergoing some kind of training which was bigger than we realized. Unfortunately this stuff is harder to make sense of. There’s a lot of running and all that. It’s also mixed in with scenes back at that recruiter’s office, which is more of a headquarters I guess. At one point, one of the women, maybe me, is back there and overhears someone asking some weird questions. “Is the mind meld complete between the women yet?” They want to start something, but I’m not sure. So I haul ass out of there to go tell the others that something is up and we need to be prepared for something. We end up defending ourselves against a whole slew of male attackers in this fake combat. It was all odd. So at this point it’s like, we see this strange game and aren’t going to play any more. I’m walking back with one of the women and we’re having some heart to heart. She mentions never imagining being able to love people like she loves me (or something) and I say that I love her too. blah blah blah (haha) There’s some kissing, but then there’s someone coming so I’m trying to get her to pay attention to that. I guess I have some weird mini radar like a video game because I know someone is close, one of our team, and then there’s someone else a bit farther back who isn’t on our team. The woman that walks up is a bit confused, I guess we’re all confused about this connection or ‘mind meld’ that was created, so I try to explain that connections are ok, but we’ve been taught to only have one really deep connection in our life to people who aren’t family. When we are connected to more than one we get confused. We just now have a small group that’s really connected, and that’s ok. I probably said something about there being something else with the girl I was kissing, but the connection for everyone is still just as strong, just different.
I can see a few things in this dream. Reflections of the books I just read, and am currently reading (Band of Sisters, stories of women in combat in Iraq) Also family issues because it’s the holidays, even though I haven’t really been thinking about them. But when you take all that surface stuff away, there are other things too. I’m just not sure what they are.
Perhaps being able to slowly focus my vision to see a mythical creature is meant to give me hope for seeing things in the future? Though I know there are things I won’t see or hear because it would hinder my path, I hope there are other things I will be able to see without problems. Also, I’m realizing the past week or so again how blessed I am to have some amazing friends. My Marine friend Olga who I am writing a book with, my musician friend Ash who I will write music with, and my wife who inspires me in other areas. I’m truly blessed to have people around who inspire me and who I in turn inspire. Anyway, I guess we’ll just see what tomorrow’s dreams have in store for me.
Hmm…apparently Carrie was listening to Harry Potter at some point last night or this morning, which is probably where the unicorn came from. Not the visuals, just her answer of it being a unicorn. Either way, it was cute.
December 30
Slept too fitfully to remember anything really. I wish I could though, because I remember some small animals again, this time I think they were bears or wolves, alive but small enough to fit in my hand or something. Very odd and cute. I remember there was a distinction of color in one, grey instead of white. I think they were bears now that I say that, because I was trying to figure out if there were grey bears in the world. hmm…
