Disconnect between experience and expression

I do not believe in taking responsibility for someone else’s reaction.  That is not something within my control.  I do, however, believe that we are responsible for what we put into the world.  We can act in a way that helps a situation, or we can act in a way that degrades a situation.  And that is something I am responsible for and can control.  So, when two situations occur in less than 24 hours where what I experienced does not match the reactions around me, I stop to reflect for a moment.

I can see two possible reasons for this disagreement.  First, while I know I am coming from a different perspective, I may not be using words that are significantly different enough.  And since other people can’t feel what I feel, they don’t realize that my perspective is completely different than it was before.  And thus, they see me addressing something in a way that is of ego rather than spirit.  This is something I can control, and I will do my best to be aware of this as much as I can.  When I have done this in the past, I get better results and understanding.

The other explanation is that, while I’m operating from spirit, others are not.  They are operating from their ego self, and thus seeing only the surface of what I’m trying to address.  Or, another similar option is that they don’t believe that I am coming from a higher perspective, don’t allow me to grow as fast as I have, and thus assume I am still addressing things as I did a year ago.  Whatever the reason, these are things I can’t control.  These are issues that exist within someone else.

Now, the gap can be bridged.  Last night Carrie and I had a very confusing argument until we finally got to what was really wrong.  Then I could apologize for what I had done wrong, explain how I know I wasn’t coming from the place she thought I was coming from, and everything was resolved.  It took a bit of time, but I’m glad we figured it out.

I’m going to continue doing my best to live in spirit and act from it.  For the past few months I’ve become more and more attuned to my spirit and realize that I’m almost always acting from it now.  It’s a strange feeling, but good strange.  I am confident when it’s appropriate, and unsure when I know I haven’t figured things out yet.  I can’t remember ever feeling like this before.  And I can’t remember the last time I took a serious misstep, which is also amazing.  This week I’m going to try to consciously tweak my actions so they are even more in line with spirit.  Who knows what will happen?  lol