Ok, I’m going to try to explain what I think my lesson is at this point. This is based on gut feeling and all sorts of stuff that I can’t put into words. But, I’ll do my best.
The way I’ve been going about this job hunt is this: Check the main sites – careerbuilder, craig’s list, monster, career services through school. When I find something that is remotely close to what I can do, I send off a resume and cover letter/email. Then, I keep looking. If there’s nothing to be found, I keep searching on individual company websites. As if by pure force of will a job will magically appear online.
I’ve wasted so many hours doing this. Seriously, it’s possible to spend 4 hours a day on this. Meanwhile, my house is a mess, I haven’t touched my drums in months, nor played any games. And I just add more stress.
So, patience isn’t really about waiting. It’s not stopping the job hunt process. It means checking the normal sites, applying if there’s anything, and then stepping away. Leave the computer and go do something else I want to do. Play mario, play my drums, read, watch a basketball game, go to aikido, or even clean! But stop fixating.
This is what makes a master. The ability to do what needs doing and then letting it go until it’s time to act again. Not forcing it to happen, but giving it the space to happen. This is my lesson, I believe. This is what I’m working on. Today I watched the last 3 episodes of Popular, which has been sitting in our house for months now. I laughed and laughed and just had fun today at work. Tonight, I checked craig’s list again, found another job to apply for, and have it sitting for when I have the focus tomorrow to write the cover letter/email. I also talked to a friend who told me of a job opportunity with his company. Granted, he hates the job, the hours are crazy and inconsistent, and it probably only pays around $10 an hour. But, if I don’t have anything else in the next few days, I’ll apply and let him talk to his boss. It’s better than nothing right?
For a while I thought things would move once I finished my thesis. I kept saying “I’m going to do ___ after my thesis.” I figure, that’s silly to try to create and then put it after my thesis. But now, I’ve graduated. So I want things to move instantaneously. But I kept pushing. I realized now, over the past few days that I hadn’t quite understood what I needed to do. Now I think I do.
In the end, I figure, my higher self needs to make some sense to my conscious self. It just took a while to get to that point. I feel pretty good about this being right. Today I also felt good about the jobs I was looking at. I don’t feel awesome, but I don’t want extremes right now anyway. But, time will tell. Hopefully not much time.
