Yesterday I picked up my evaluations from teaching conceptual physics this spring. Holy crap! What’s interesting is that, the class that I thought did better, that I was more relaxed with and got around to more people to help gave me the worse evaluations. What?! Now, a lot of the complaints were with the lab manual, which I also hate. The format was very difficult to work with, especially when written so poorly. So it looks like a lot of that frustration was reflected in the evaluations.
There were some very valid complaints, though I have an ‘excuse’ or explanation for each of them. I wasn’t able to prepare very well for this class since I only learned I was teaching it a week before hand. Also, since I was taking a class myself, trying to get research done, and dealing with my wife’s ever increasing seizure problem, there wasn’t enough time to prepare. This was by far the most testing semester I’ve ever had on a personal level, and that meant the kids got the short end of the stick. They are absolutely right to say the class wasn’t as organized as well as it could have been. However, I don’t know that they have realistic expectations of what this course can be with a brand new AI who had never seen the course before that week. So I take that with a grain of salt.
I also realize I can be intimidating and impatient. A lot of this was worse because I wasn’t sleeping much this semester, being up late at night with Carrie as she was seizing more times than I can count. And that translates into a grumpy little Marine! It’s something I’m working on, but hey, I’m still learning too. It’s something to work on, but I also know I did the very best I could and still went beyond what was required to help them out. Whether they believe it or not is irrelevant, I know I did my best.
One person said I had favorites which made it hard to ask questions. I think this is a bit of a copout. Perhaps there were some people who managed to suck me into discussion without my realizing it (again with the lack of sleep), but that shouldn’t stop you from coming over and getting my attention. I always respond when someone has a question, immediately if I’m not in the middle of another question. That’s a lesson in assertiveness that everyone has to learn. And since I know I respond when students ask, it’s not like asking someone who still ignores you. So while I could have tried to walk around a bit more (which was difficult in the crowded classroom), the students are also responsible when they have a question. But, I will try to keep in mind to move around more and talk to people more. But, many of the other students rarely said anything anyway, so when that happens I tend to focus more on those who tend to have questions. It just makes better sense to me.
So, is that enough of an excuse session? I know I need to work on softening a bit. I haven’t learned to be assertive yet kind, or at least not so intimidating yet. That’s pretty damn hard! But I think as I learn to integrate both sides of myself I can do it. Right now it’s basically going from one version of me to the other, and since they don’t mix, I can only be one or the other. Hopefully in the coming months that will greatly improve.
You know, teaching is a very good way to test your spiritual development! lol
1 July 2007 at 10:08
Teaching is a great way to learn from your students. I’d chaulk the whole thing up to stress and being the ‘grumpy marine’ due to what you were trying to handle all at the same time. And maybe you did have favorites? It’s one thing to be assertive, it’s another to cross a bull in a rut.
1 July 2007 at 10:23
I’m sure it seemed as if I had favorites. But my favorites were simply those that had questions, the ones that spoke freely. I didn’t even like all of those people lol And I will admit to one person intriguing me for the entire semester, but I actually avoided her more than talked to her because I was trying to not get caught up with anything in my own head.
So, I have things to work on. But people shouldn’t say, oh, you have favorites so that’s why I didn’t ask questions. There’s no personal responsibility in that, and it doesn’t help them learn.
It has, however, made me reconsider doing any real teaching beyond tutoring until I reintegrate more of myself. I don’t see this improving significantly enough until then, and I don’t want to put the students through that. Then again, that could happen as soon as this fall
1 July 2007 at 13:43
There are a lot of students in every class that are there because the degree they are pursuing requires it. They don’t really have an interest.
Then there are some who are interested but, have been conditioned through upbringing that to ask questions means, questioning authority and, this means showing a lack of respect for that authority. Thye may be afraid of not catching on quick enough and trying someone’s Patience.
Then there are ones that are truly bullheaded about it. It is truly important for them to undestand the teaching trying to be conveyed, they will pursue you…into your office, when are your office hours, etc. Because they want to know and understand as you know.
When we’re stressed and tired, we radiate that stress, even tho we might not give expression to any of it where it can be physically seen. It’s a valid state. We all get there or live there at some time.
With any evalution, it is important to notice and give appropriate credit to, the ones doing the evaluating. In this case, the students. How much credit do you chose to give their evaluation of anything? You saw their work, what did it express about themselves?
“You can lead a horse to water but not make it drink.”
Any horse really thristy, will.
And those that aren’t, won’t.
1 July 2007 at 17:50
Yep. I try to keep things in perspective. It’s just funny that this came after I had a flagged session for my online tutoring. I need to not become too lax with my words and be more conscious. Sometimes you just get tired and lose perspective. It’s just another reminder. I’ll get there, all in time.
2 July 2007 at 19:09
There’s no race, ya’ know, getting there. The one thing that is easiest to forget is to give ourselves the time and the rest, we need, in order to keep going ourselves. It’s like yeast. We need to keep a little yeast for ourselves, so we can grow another batch.
The fact the University delegated the course to be taught by someone unprepared because of lack of notice, tells you how important they thought the course.
Maybe it’s one of those courses like Economics, very few are expected to catch on, so why make a fuss?
2 July 2007 at 19:17
But whether the university believes it a waste or not, I don’t. I care, and that’s what makes it difficult. I wanted to do better than I did, though I accept that I did my best considering the situation. I don’t know how well any of them would have done if they were dealing with the health issues my wife had to face. So that doesn’t bother me. But, I’d like to remember what I can learn from and improve upon next time.
3 July 2007 at 13:12
Sometimes things bubble up over a period of a couple of days. That’s how I came by this idea to share with you, as I thought about what I knew was your desire.
I couldn’t do a thing right after my strokes. Not even hold a cup securely in my hand. I had to consciously THINK about walking, re-training my brain, step by step.
Coming from being Supermom & Superwife, it was quite a jolt. Mentally and Emotionally as well as, Physically. One day I said to Hubby with tears welling in my eyes, “I’m not used to being useless.” And he replied, “Don’t worry, you can learn how.”
That was one of the most healing and loving things he could ever have said to me. I didn’t have to worry about being ‘of use’ to be loved anymore. I’d had abadonment issues. My family saw a Value in me, in spite of the lack I could then do for them.
Opportunity came in the form of an after school club for studying. My daughter wanted to go, to socialize and be with others she knew but, didn’t need the help studying. I noticed the school had called for a parent to volunteer, if their child needed to attend. So I wrote a letter to her Principal, asking if she and I might attend, even tho she didn’t need to. That I could sure use the opportunity to be useful and would substitute for parents that couldn’t come, even tho their children needed the help.
So I tutored 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th grade after school homework club. And they taught me a great deal.
They taught me that the excitement of realizing we can learn and, the upliftment in our self image and self respect, is what is important in our lives, not what subject. The excitement of self realization is what turns me on as a teacher. I enjoy being there to share anothers experience of it.
The difference between little kids and big kids, is that big kids have learned all sorts of conditions for being excited and pleased with themselves, that the little ones haven’t learned yet.