For Carrie’s family and friends – A rant

*I had to rant, so I posted this on myspace. I can’t afford to accidentally snap at Carrie.*

For everyone who knows Carrie, I feel the need to explain just how bad she is, because I can’t handle people trying to take more from her when she doesn’t have it to give.

Carrie is having multiple seizures daily. These seizures cause her to forget many things. She loses years of her life, can’t remember where she lives, or what her cat’s names are. More disturbing in some ways is that she can’t remember how to read. It takes her a minute or more to get through the alphabet, and she forgets letters. It takes a few times through to get it right, and she’s still thinking about every letter. Can you imagine being 25 years old and not remembering what a letter looks like, much less how to read?

Or, ask her what 1 plus 1 is. Her response? What does plus mean?

So I’m asking, all of you who love her and care for her, please don’t take from her. She does not have real support from people who should be giving it to her.  Well fuck them all, because I see her every day. I know how she reacts to a seizure, and I know what happens to her. I’m the one who helps her remember her alphabet and basic arithmetic. And I do it gladly. But I do not have to allow other people to screw her over. It’s my job to protect her.

I’m sure she’d appreciate anyone who can give her an honest ear to listen. But don’t expect it to be the same Carrie you know. It’s not. She’s in there somewhere, but she’s also very different.

Carrie has always been there when her friends needed her. I’m asking you to be her friend now. If she can’t talk to you, don’t take it personally. Many times in the day she is incapable of talking or comprehending much language. It has nothing to do with you. And if she takes the time to reach out to you, do what you can to be there for her. She doesn’t feel like there are many people in the world who give a damn about her right now.

And even though her memory is being reset many times a day, rest assured, mine is not. My patience is wearing thin for people who are only using her for their needs. Please don’t piss me off like others have, because I will not be so quick to forgive right now. Right or wrong, it’s simply where I’m at. This is Jax, in Marine attack dog mode. Don’t fuck her over.

Thank you for those who have supported her. It’s beyond appreciated.