I’m worried I’m going to become overwhelmed soon. I haven’t been doing my research, which sucks. I haven’t caught up my grading enough. Though, I did write their homework solutions, write a quiz, and a study guide. I have to write an exam by Monday. And to top it off, Carrie is having seizures. Often. Her memory loss is getting more unique and scary. Last night, she thought it was 1999, but didn’t remember me (we met in 1998), the old man painting that her grandma had since before she was born, what her mom sounded like until she went into ‘mom mode’. She didn’t know what her mom or dad looked like. These are very bizarre things to forget. I had to call her mom at midnight when Carrie tried to leave the house and threatened to call the cops because I wouldn’t let her leave. I really don’t know what to do at this point.
We have a doctor appointment on the 23rd. But at this point, she’s very behind in her school work. I’m hoping we can ask for an incomplete for her classes, giving her an extra month to complete them. We’ll just have to see what can be pulled off.
I’m also tired because we have literally no money. There is a bit of money on the credit card, enough to by gas and some groceries, but that’s it. My tutoring money, a tad over $100 hits my bank soon, and I’m praying I can withdraw it before other things hit the bank so we have that cash. The good thing is that we’re forced to eat at home. My health is improving because of it, and we’ve done pretty good going gluten free. Definitely a positive. And I borrowed $30 from my mom to put on my school card to get me lunch for a few more days. So food wise, we’re ok for a bit. I just overextended our money paying bills and wasting it the first weekend. Live and learn I guess.
I’m sure things will improve soon. I’m not nearly as stressed as I could be. But I’m worried about my wife, who loses her memory and finds herself unable to comprehend words, making reading difficult. When she loses her memory, that connection between us changes because she cuts it off I believe. Do you know how disturbing it is to have your wife look at you like you’re a stranger? To not be able to touch her or comfort her because she doesn’t know you? It always comes back, but it’s so hard to grasp. And I don’t know how to help her. She’s taking her medicine, she’s eating a better diet and taking vitamins. But nothing helps. Still more seizures. No answers. I want my wife back. I want to be able to leave the house without the paranoia that she’ll have a seizure in public, complicating my ability to care for her. We can’t even go to the chiropractor because she’ll probably have a seizure.
I just don’t know what to do…
What is the lesson?
