It’s official. Carrie’s had a seizure that has caused her to lose so much time that she doesn’t know who I am. My wife, a person I’ve known for 9 1/2 years, has no idea who I am. Right now she’s talking to her mom, because I knew I couldn’t calm her down. I mean, who’s equipped for this? How do you talk to someone when they don’t know who you are? At this point it’s either laugh or cry, none of which make her feel any better. So I’m quite at a loss. This seizure was pretty rough, she was unconscious for 5-10 minutes. She also hit her head on the bed, which is soft thankfully. It’s going to be a long night…
I wonder if I should cancel classes. I guess if I don’t get to bed in another 2 hours I will consider it, but probably won’t. It’s not hard to stay awake while teaching, but I’m sure I’ll cancel my meeting tomorrow and just email roger and apologize. You know what really sucks? We can’t even go to a doctor about this, because they won’t do anything. We don’t have our MAP appointment until friday, and probably won’t get in to see a doctor for a month. And then who knows how much longer until she gets an appointment with a neurologist. It’s times like this where life gets difficult. I know I’m strong, but it does wear down a person.
I’m giving her space right now, to talk to her mom. I need to go back in there eventually, but right now she still has no idea. You know what’s funny? The internet is absolutely no help with amnesia. I don’t know if anyone is. These are the times when I realize how isolated and alone our lives are. But no one can fix this anyway.
