Too many connections

So I realized something just a bit too creepy to me last night. Of all the people that I’ve been involved with (meaning a lot of making out and/or sex), there is a connection from one to the other in all but one situation (off the top of my head). This actually creeps me out a bit. I’m going to put this behind a cut for those who simply don’t care lol And keep in mind, these aren’t all people I’ve slept with. Besides, that line is so blurry for lesbians that I just give up defining. The way I look at it, if it meant something to me, then it counts as something.

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Dreams - radioactive ammo/explaining dreams to boy

I’m trying to do as suggested, and keep a notebook by my bed so I can write down what I remember of dreams when I wake up.  This morning I should have just gotten up and typed since I wrote so much, but that’s ok.  It definitely helped the other night when I would have normally rolled over and forgotten everything.  Since this will be long and of interest basically to me, I’ll cut it.  You can read if you want.

Realizations

The past two nights I’ve had interesting realizations.

22 Jan

In an attempt to relax enough to sleep, I tried doing deep breathing while holding aragonite.  It’s a centering crystal, and it tends to, well, center me or keep me ‘here’ more.  Then I decided to pick up the spirit crystal, which is mostly amethyst in composition I believe.  As I held it, I started to hear the bizarre slapping/snapping sound that I sometimes hear while drifting to sleep.  I struggle to describe it because it isn’t physical, and not something I hear with my physical ears, but something I hear inside my head so to speak.  What was unusual is that the sounds weren’t quite as loud as usually, and much more frequent.  I’ve never really known what the cause of these sounds were, just that sometimes people hear them when heading to the astral plane.  So I was stumped as usual.

Then I had a thought.   What if that sound is occuring whenever someone/thing attempts to enter my shield and is stopped?  Even if it doesn’t make a sound on another plane, but mind could interpret what it’s experiencing as the sound it would produce in the physical plane.  This seems to make a lot of sense, though I don’t really have any evidence for this yet.  Eventually I’ll be able to see,  and that will allow me to know.  In any case, any explanation is better than none. 

23 Jan

There are some major shifts going on.  People sensitive to energy are really struggling right now.  Here are some symptoms:

1.  Insomnia - unable to fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning (5am for instance), or finding restful sleep impossible

2.  Changes in dreams - increasingly violent, or involving UFO’s, spiritual groups, etc

3.  Flu like symptoms

I’ve been struggling to get sleep that wasn’t just an inbetween state.  Someone recommended Roman Chamomile essential oils, rubbed into the feet.  I picked up some mixed with Lavender, which smells better, and it did help.  So if you’re struggling with this, get some!

I realized last night that there could be a reason for increased violence in dreams, without it predicting physical violence.  Our dreams are still messages from our minds and subconscious.  Perhaps our minds are struggling with the shift, or even resisting it, and thus feel it violently.  This would simply be reflected back in our dreams as a way to cope with the issues.  It makes a lot of sense to me right now.  But maybe that’s the lack of sleep talking. 

And now, I’m going to put the oil on my feet and get to sleep!  I’d love to hear your thoughts on my ideas.  They’re based on inuition only, and very little evidence.  More evidence is always nice. 

alien dream

alien dream

first saw lights - 2 ‘headlights’ like a plane, but they rotated, like the plane was making small circles - or perhaps as if the headlights were orbiting each other - a little hard to describe.  There were maybe 2 or 3, but I was focused in on one, as if zooming in with a camera so I didn’t notice any patterns.  It was standard UFO type behavior (sudden stopping, sharp turns, etc), but the object seemed to turn very tight, too tight for a plane.

during day, a full pattern including lines (lol)I realized it had to be aliens that I saw at night.  I wasn’t scared, just wanting to call my mom to see if she saw it too.  The thought being that if she saw it, it had to happen very far away.  If she didn’t it was a local phenomenon.  Pretty much everyone, had their cell phones out.  It was like we were leaving an event, a large group of people.  I was with some friends I think.  There was no panic by everyone, just calm and a bit of awe.

Very odd…

Water Rant

I can’t remember more than 2 hot showers in the past months.  Honestly.  There may have been a few more, but definitely not in the double digits.  In months.  Fucking months!  Why do I have to pay $650 a month to not have hot water, which is required to be fixed by Texas property law?  How can you possibly ‘fix’ something time and time again and it be broke the next day?  It’s not that damn complicated!  Boiler, heats water, pumps to showers.  That’s pretty damn simple to me.  I can’t wait to move…I hate this place more and more every day.

Oh, and to top it off there’s a horrible smell in the bedroom that I didn’t notice before today.  I can’t find the source.  I have to be up to teach in 7 hours, and I’m too pissed off to sleep.  I can calm down in here, but I go in to the bedroom and smell the mysterious smell, feel the cold water, and I’m pissed off again.  I know I should be beyond this, but jesus christ.  Months!!!!!  A person can only take so much before they just lose it and want to hit everyone involved.  Make them take cold showers, or none at all for months and see how fast they fix it then!  Fuck!

Temptation

Talk about torture!  Every day in the geology department shows me yet another path I could travel down.  Did you know UT has one of the largest geological research groups in Antarctica?  That’s one of my dreams, to return to Antarctica but this time visit the dry valleys and search for meteorites.  Last week I learned about some of the geophysics research opportunities.  This is so evil!  Perhaps I should have gone into geophysics rather than plasma physics.  But that’s ok.

I was trying to find a reason for this lesson.  Why would I be presented with exciting new paths that I didn’t know of before?  Then it dawned on me.  Every time I get excited about another path I remind myself of where I’m going.  I have to be slightly firm with myself and say, “No, you have to graduate and start working so you can start the recording career.” Every day or so I have to set my resolve, adding more energy to the path before me.  It allows me to consciously choose my future many more times than if the alternatives weren’t presented to me.  And that is powerful.

So, perhaps when I have decided to cut back, I think I’m going to go back to school and get that geophysics degree.  Perhaps it is silly to get a degree when you’re 60.  But it’s not about anything but the knowledge and excitement of something new.   I’m a lifelong learner.  I don’t see any reason why I can’t get a degree when I’m older.  As long as my brain still works, I might as well!  And then I’ll have a doctorate, even if it’s 30 years late. 

Flashes of Remembrance

Do you ever have flashes of memories, where you’re doing the most simple thing in life and you feel for just a moment that you’re somewhere else in time and space? This happens to me all the time. For instance, I was just sitting here in my office, perhaps zoning for a bit on my code when I felt like I was back in the Marine Corps. What makes this wierd is that I never worked in an office or on a computer in the Corps. So it’s a far less obvious connection than other times. What is it that felt like that time? The lack of sleep, made up for by ginseng tea? The subtle buzz in my body from that same lack of sleep? I don’t honestly know. But it was so random to me that I had to mention it.

This most often happens in the early mornings, when it’s a bit humid but not quite hot. I often feel like I’m back on Parris Island, since that’s how it felt in the morning before the sun baked us. Perhaps steamed is a better verb, since it was so humid! At times like that, it’s almost bittersweet because it reminds me of a different time when I was living a dream. I’m reminded that I don’t have that, but more importantly, it clues me in to the environment around me. I can always appreciate that.

However, this sometimes happens with things that make no sense. I’ll never forget the day that I was in Salt Lake City for the NCUR conference. I was standing on campus, looking out at the city below me (the campus is a pretty high in elevation) when I had the most bizarre flash; “This feels like Yavin 4″. What?! Ok, Yavin 4 does not exist except in a movie. So how could I possibly be reminded of how it felt like on a planet that doesn’t exist? Lol I do have an idea though. What if Yavin 4 is a place that’s been created out of group belief? Perhaps I have visited this place in my dreams, experiencing it on the astral? Then of course I would know what it felt like, even if my conscious self has no recollection! What’s funny is, this is the first time I’ve said it like this, and it feels true. Have I just stumbled onto something? If anyone has an idea about this, please let me know. Perhaps I’m just really close to the reality of this situation, so it would be nice to ‘know’.

Also, are these flashes another form of deja vu? Rather than going forward in time, we’re going backward? It seems to make sense, and it feels quite similar - a vague feeling of knowing and being somewhere before. Hmmm…

(just a note of record, I am actually working right now, but my code is running, so I haven’t wasted any time. )

Karmic Past Live Interpretation

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Astrological Report

Karmic Past Life Interpretation

CONTENTS:
Introduction
1 Most Important Prior Life Experiences
2 Saturn (The Great Teacher)
3 Jupiter (Your Karmic Gifts)
4 Nodes of the Moon (Your Karmic Doorways)
5 Planets in Retrograde (Reversed Energies)

Astrological chart interpretation

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Astrological Report
REVELATION Chart Interpretation