Last night’s dream - Racki

I had an interesting dream this morning, and I’m sad that I’m already losing details, because it was so interesting.

In the first part, we were driving in what was supposed to be Parris Island, since there were Drill Instructors yelling at recruits, which is always hilarious to me. The wierd part was that there was this random guy dressed like for a football game, wearing red with OU on his face. (perhaps to represent an outsider, since OU is a huge rival?) I’m not sure when things shift, but the next useful thing I remember besides driving and actually not having any sound once I open my window, is being in a room with Ssgt Racki and just talked.

The overall theme of the conversation with her experience with the queer kids. We, being the queer kids in 4029, always thought she was gay, even though she had a kid. Anyway, she talked about how the gay kids would get excited about the hardcore stuff. She mentioned having a lot more than usual during my time, which didn’t seem right. Though, I did say I barely knew those people, so I wouldn’t know. But she was very amused by it all, and that was contagious.

We shifted to talking more about her past. She told this story of a girl who broke her heart. They were supposed to go away together, leave on a small boat or something. What’s funny is that as she was telling this, I had a completely wierd visual of a very attractive younger black woman and Angelina Jolie. Neither of them are Ssgt Racki lol. Perhaps for this section it was someone else, but it’s hard to tell in dreams. So this black woman (she was gorgeous!) was actually telling this part of the story in spanish, which was odd. I don’t actually speak spanish, but I must have gotten the gist of it. I mentioned that I had experienced something similar, but I could say it as beautifully or in spanish. lol I think we talked for a bit longer about things, but I don’t remember what. I do remember this feeling of being drawn to her, she ‘felt’ good. I mean, hell, I focused on her the whole time, even though Angelina was in the dream!

So at some point things mix even more. Racki is giving me life advice, and we’re talking about Marine Corps stuff again. I have this realization/understanding of one of the reasons for the few feminine focused things we had to do. I still believe the regulations are for the outside world, for our image, but there’s another aspect. In my dream I talked about that forcing the gay kids to do things that normal girls do (perhaps I should qualify as the more butch gay kids) that it adds more commonality. Then we aren’t so different or intimidating, and that increases unit cohesion. In the same way, the girlie girls do some hard core stuff, so in the end everyone has some commonalities, making it easier for strangers to come together. (this I would be willing to bet is related to my issues last night, and this understanding is something I don’t think I would have reached without doing EFT, which I’ll discuss later)

We then continued on to other issues. She told some more aspects of her life. Mentioned that she didn’t kiss a girl for the first time until 1985 (which is a wierd detail to remember). I made a joke, but I don’t remember it. As we talked she interspersed important things she learned, which of course I forgot. However, it wasn’t new information for me, and were things I already believed, which may be the reason why. She talked about not sacrificing things - something to do with our selves, our dreams perhaps, and also not sacrificing God, I think our relationship with God rather than any dogmatic meaning.

Also, at some point there were some other people around, I think closer to the time of the other woman. One of them was Cali, even though I was supposed to be still talking to Racki. It’s like she was a shapeshifter or something lol. I asked her how many Marines she’d dated or slept with. Then she switched the subject, and there was another person also. So Cali, this other woman, and I all went into another room, which happened to be in my childhood home. We sat down on my bed, which wasn’t made, so I pulled down the quilt to cover the dirty sheets. I don’t really remember what we talked about. She was saying how she actually studied a lot because she took her education seriously or some bs. I said that I graduated number 1 and 2. It was a silly pointless exchange.

At this point I’ve lost all the other details. It was a really pleasant dream. All the stuff with Racki just made me feel…I don’t know. She felt like a mentor of sorts, telling me things, sharing her experiences in life, and passing along her most important advice. It was interesting, that’s for sure.