Astral Practice

I’ve been talking with a very experienced person in the Jedi community (at least that’s where I know her from) who has been working a bit with me on releasing fears through astral projection.
We first discussed things a few days ago.  I started asking her a string of questions about angels and guides and other random things.  I talked about how my abilities are all squashed by fears to some extent, and I don’t know how to release them, because I don’t know what they actually are!  However, she is quite wise and intuitive, and told me she felt a fear of hell still in me.  This was a bit suprising, because I haven’t believed in hell in probably two years, but it’s not easy to undo 18 years of programming by a religion.

From there she attempted to lead me through an exercise on the astral plane.  Thankfully she can see just fine, because I couldn’t.  I tried to visualize a place that was safe for me, though that’s a bit tough.  I immediately overthink and have a hard time choosing.   So I just settled on some nice green clearing in a bunch of trees.  She says there was a bearded man in a cloak there.  She couldn’t see his face, or talk to him.  I asked him his name, but I couldn’t hear squat.  I asked him to tell ellen his name, but apparently he didn’t want to do that.  Probably too easy

After a little while, he gave me a tool/weapon to use against my fear.  It’s a magical staff of sorts.  I tried to feel it or get a real sense for it, but I didn’t have much.  But it didn’t matter, I felt better for having it.

That night I attempted to visualize my fears and attack them with the staff, but quickly fell into overthinking and questioning.  I told Ellen this the next day and she had me do another exercise that really helped me.

We again went to the astral plane, but this time she had me close my astral eyes.  I was to first feel the staff in my hand, and then feel where she was.  When I was ready, try to hit her.   At first that worked as well as you can imagine…it didn’t.  But, I kept trying to relax, and there it was - I could feel her to my left!  I attacked in that direction.  I missed, but I sensed her!  I could still feel her to my left, and turned that way.  I finally asked if she was moving, and she was.  So that makes sense at least.  I ended up chasing her around a lot, came close to hitting her a few times, but of course didn’t.  She is quite a bit more experienced than me, and has the advantage of other senses.

The next step was to take that new confidence and banish my fear.  Ellen created a hole in the astral ground and filled it with purple light.  I was to take my staff and drive the fear into it.  Since this fear was about hell I imagined a devilish sort of creature.  I kept attacking it until I felt it was in the hole, and then kept attacking and pushing it down until the light consumed it.

It was a wierd experience, partly because it was my first conscious confirmed astral experience, and partly because I don’t attack in real life.  I was hesitent at first, and started to go with it before too long.  I asked if I looked silly, but Ellen said I was valiant because I confronted my fear.  Now if it returns it is coming from me, and isn’t real anymore.  I also think it’s interesting that I wasn’t afraid, even with that monster in front of me.  It never occurred to me to be scared.  Maybe that will change with other fears?

I’ve learned so much in two days.  I can tell the difference between imagining and astral, though it’s a bit subtle.  In essence it comes down to focus and intention…it takes a lot more to translate the imagination to the astral and make it ‘real’.  But thanks to Ellen’s guidance and patience I was able to receive feedback so I could learn that difference.  Otherwise, how would I know?

In time I hope to develop this so I can actually see astrally, and even hear so I can meet my guides myself and learn this other guide’s name.  All I know is a general physical description and a comment that they are not to be messed with - very strong men.  I definately feel protected now!

So this week I am truly grateful for Ellen’s patience and guidance, it’s really boosted my confidence.  I may just be a Jedi yet