Even as I write that title, I’m not sure who I’m referring to. Where do you draw the line? Well, I’ll simply start with the relationships that are important to share with a certain friend named after a spice. (hi cinn!)
The main players in this drama include myself (obviously), my wife Carrie, and her best friend Tara. Now, I’ll warn you, this will probably get long, but I’ll do my best to avoid rambling.
Carrie and Tara have been friends since the age of 11. I came into the picture when they were 15/16, and were already best friends. I knew they were close, and I knew Carrie was totally into her, but, I also knew she was into me. Thus, in typical fashion, I ignored it and went on my merry way.
So, years pass, and Carrie and I are married, Tara is still the best friend, but we’re all starting to see things from different perspectives. For instance, Carrie is totally in love with Tara. Suprising to hear, especially from me, but it’s true. However, they both know that in this lifetime, a relationship other than friendship would end catastrophically. Carrie is also totally in love with me. I’m quite secure in this, and know that she’s not looking elsewhere for anything unless I don’t provide it. And even then, I know she’d come to me first. Therefore, I’m not concerned. Some people don’t understand this, and we try to explain, but I think something is lost in the translation.
This is how I view our relationships, and actually all relationships. We are all connected, Carrie, Tara and I. The connection between myself and Carrie are strong…insanely strong. Sometimes it’s like I can see them when we’re separated by a large distance. But, the connection is also very strong between Carrie and Tara. That’s quite obvious to anyone with eyes, including me!
I think most people, by the time they reach adulthood, have had to deal with the cutting of a connection. Sometimes it’s a strong connection, and the loss is felt strongly, and other times it isn’t and we get over it quickly. But we know how that feels, even those of us who aren’t aware of energy. As someone becomes more aware of connections, the loss of a connection is felt more strongly. This is why I would never ask someone to cut off a connection, especially one that is not threatening.
I do not see my marriage as threatened, especially by Tara. Besides, if Tara wasn’t in our lives, I wouldn’t have the opportunity to think about connections in new ways. For instance, I now do believe you can deeply love more than one person at a time. I believe you can even maintain relationships with more than one person at a time, as long as all people understand the lines involved. But, I do think this is rare, because most people are too deep in their own issues. Had this situation been understood years ago, I don’t know that I would handle it this same way. It took the new understanding I’ve gained through my own spiritual journey to reach this point. And it does work for us.
In time I hope to ask someone who can look at our past lives about the interrelatedness of our connections. Carrie and Tara had to have shared lifetimes before, and I know Carrie and I have. But, I’m starting to think Tara and I have shared a lifetime or two also because of our connection. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve spent very little time with Tara, yet I feel a relatively strong connection to her. This could be partly due to knowing her through Carrie’s eyes, who are obviously loving eyes. But I think there’s more to it than that, so it will be interesting to learn more.
The moral of this story? There is a lot of room in the human heart for connections, even strong connections. When we love unconditionally problems like jealousy and fear don’t show themselves. Then our lives are enriched by all of our connections. Embrace them. Love them. And don’t let fear ruin what could be an incredible experience.
