Rent

Oh my god, I could have sworn I blogged about this movie! lol, silly me. So friday night we went to see Rent at Alamo Lake Creek, because that was the only Alamo showing it. Apparently we can’t see movies anywhere else now lol, we’re totally spoiled. Where else can you get yummy chips and queso?

Anyway, the movie…it’s excellent. It stays true to the musical, even when it changes things a bit. For instance, the background of Joann is skipped, so that’s a little odd. And Maureen and Joann’s fight is in a completely different setting, but it’s hilarious! The movie made us cry, a lot, which is a good sign. When someone can make you cry, even when you know what happens, then they did a good job.

I also think it’s neat to see so many of the people who originated these roles. And the newcomers definately do it justice, so I didn’t feel like anyone was ‘wrong’. Rosario Dawson, a big kudos, she nailed Mimi.

Something I find interesting is comparing the original cast recordings to the movie versions of the same songs. Even though you have the same people, there can be some big differences in how they interpret the song 9 years later. Well, it’s interesting to musical folks like myself lol. For instance, Without You is done a few steps lower in the movie than in the musical. I have no idea why, because Rosario clearly has the range. Maybe it will make sense after seeing it again. It may just set the mood differently. lol, maybe it will be explained in the special features of the dvd

So, my final review is, excellent movie. Worth seeing, multiple times in fact. I want to go see it again, but I’ll have to wait since we don’t have the money. DVD now!!!

Indigo Lesbians

(as you can tell, I should be doing homework, so instead I’m rambling here lol)

Anyway, a few weeks ago already I received a random email from some indigo lesbians. Strangely enough, they were having trouble finding other lesbian indigos, and I was the only place that popped up via google. It seems strange, but then I thought about it more. Many of the people are gay or bi, but they don’t use the language. Instead they talk about soul makes, and soul connections. Sexuality really isn’t the issue for them, so it isn’t discussed in the same way as other people would discuss it.

Anyway, today I im’d her for the first time, and it was very nice I actually got an interesting feeling in my chest, which was…hotter…than what the warmth normally feels like. It’s hard to describe, since it’s not a true heat sensation since there’s no burning involved, but it still feels hotter, and more focused. For instance, I usually feel warmth in my chest that takes up easily half my chest. This was more like an inch or so in diameter. More focused, which may be why the energy felt ‘hotter’, since it was compressed into a smaller space. anyway…time to shut of the logic part of me lol

When I felt that, I felt a great love. I’ve been having so many problems lately with frustration, etc (overstating the obvious, see previous posts) and in the midst of that feeling it all went away. Love feels great by the way! I was able to let go of all of the crap, and just feel it. And then I acted on it. I apologized to someone, and tried to make things right. I even consciously said, that’s what love would do.

I’m not saying this will stick around forever or anything, but it feels good now. And with that, I turn to my homework. Good night.

Finally!!!!!!!!

Sara Lee Foodservice� - Product Main PageAha! These are my favorites, and the one thing that disappointed me most about Texas, the inability to get Cheddy brats (as I call them, even though they’re smoked sausage lol) But, the other day, I look over and, holy shit! Fucking Cheddy brats! I seriously picked up 2 packages and called home immediately! lol, my brother made fun of Texas for being like a million years behind the times, since we’ve been eating them all of our lives, but it doesn’t matter. I’m just beyond happy they have them now! Woohoo!!!!!!

I quit

I quit all the stuff that is sucking me down. I will focus only on those things that are necessary. Those being:
1. Homework
2. Research
3. Teaching
4. Traditional training followups
5. Meditation

Do you think if I put it in writing, it will stick with me? lol rawr! so annoying!!!! what’s annoying? everything lol, I hate this part of the school year where I get all stressed out and pissed off and it’s fucking…grrrr…just yeah…it’s obnoxious, this feeling. Need to figure this out…

when you say too much

It’s funny what happens when, even though others agree with you, if you’re the person who does the actual speaking up, you’re the person that catches all the flak for it when it’s not popular anymore. When others wouldn’t speak up, either because they were too shy, or too busy, whatever, and I was the person who stepped up and did it. I think that’s interesting…And kinda shitty really. But, whatever. Time to step back and become inconspicuous again. Maybe someone else will take control for once, as has been asked in the past.

mood: annoyed, slightly bitter, and frustrated

Time to do some homework.

I hate getting pissed

I really hate when someone finally gets to me enough that I get upset. It’s like all that work I do to let things go flies out the window. It’s annoying! lol, and then I have to waste time regaining my composure.

The way I usually avoid this is by trying to understand why someone is delusional, an asshole, whatever. But when I get to the point where I lose it, it makes it that much more difficult to care. What do I care if they have issues with being right, or if they were shit on by their parents? I often just say, I don’t care.

And then, somewhere, that little sane part of myself reminds me that I do care. And as much as I want to hit them, I wouldn’t because I do care. And because that would go against all my principles. To first remain in control of my emotions, not acting from them. And second, to help the world by bringing in love, compassion, and understanding rathering than adding hurt by bringing in frustration, anger, and fear.

So it turns into this whole big annoying thing of internal conflict, what I should do vs what I want to do, whether to act from my highest (or even slightly higher) self or from my lower self.

Constant lessons, that’s what life supplies. Whether you like them or not, they are there for you, until you learn them. sigh…

To the anti-military recruiters

There’s this whole anti-recruiter movement, especially on campus. I understand their point in a way. Their motto is books not guns. Basically that kids should be in college and not in the military and at war. I wonder if their concern is really for the people though. This is why.

Having been in the military, there are different groups of people. A vast majority of enlisted are poor or lower middle class. These are not people that were going to college anyway either for money or education reasons. If it weren’t for the military they would be working a dead end job that in the end was meaningless. The military, therefore, provides a way out of their down, out of their dead end life, and into a family (hopefully) and a way to make a difference in the world (hopefully).

Then there are those who basically had the choice of military or jail. Now this isn’t always a good idea either, but either they shape up or end up doing something stupid to send them to the brig. At least they are given a chance to go somewhere with their life this way. One example is Doc Therin (spelling is wrong I bet) who was in the Navy instead of going to jail. He was a corpsman, and going to college in his spare time to get his medical degree. The military gave him the chance to go to school and provide for his son. Jail certainly wouldn’t have done that.

Then there are people like me. People who for one reason or another always wanted to be in the military. I went to a year of college, found it boring. It just wasn’t where i needed to be at the time. No, I didn’t know exactly everything before going in, but it was a decision I made, on my own. No one forced me, and no one convinced me.

So perhaps I’m more of the person these people are worrying about, those that are in college and leave for the military. The thing is, if you’re in college, you’re a somewhat intelligent person. The decision to leave college for military shouldn’t be done lightly. But, I don’t agree that anyone needs a group of college kids acting like a parent telling recruiters to stay away. What do these people know anyway? How do they know that college is really best for a person? Last time I checked a college degree doesn’t guarantee anything, especially in Austin. Maybe the military is exactly where a person needs to be at that point in their life. I think it’s highly arrogant to assume you know what’s best for an individual.

Yes, I think there are recruiters who lie and really work kids to join. And there are some that really don’t know what they’re getting into. But, these are usually the poorest of the poor. What other option do they have? If you want the military to not be an option, find another one. Give these people another opportunity, because until there is one, the military is the best place to go. You are given everything you need to live. Yes, you may have to go to war, and that sucks. People need to know that before they sign up. But I think these anit-recruiter groups are selling people short in thinking they can’t protect themselves from the predatory recruiters.

Who are these anti-recruiter people anyway? Seems to me like they’re just some upper class kids who know nothing about struggle and survival. They have their ideals with no understanding of what those ideals mean to others. Most of the recruiters, I believe, are good guys just trying to do the best they can in a job that really sucks. But it’s their job. And, if they’re still in the military, they obviously think there’s enough redeeming qualities to bring other people into service.

You don’t have to agree with them. You don’t have to join, but stop ragging on everyone who joins the military. We’re not stupid. I don’t think I met anyone in the military who got screwed completely. Also, it’s up to the individuals to check facts a bit before signing on the line. We’re all adults when we join. And those that aren’t had to have parents who signed them in. If you don’t want your kid joining the military, don’t sign the papers. Make them wait until they’re 18. Show them the other side of what the recruiters say. But don’t put this all on the recruiters. It’s a cop out. Personal responsibility is what everything comes down to. Try it sometime.

*note* I realize I have a somewhat tainted view since I came through the Marine Corps, and I hold them to a higher standard. I haven’t run into anyone who is truly unhappy. I can’t speak for the Army, which needs much higher numbers for enlistment, thus the recruiters are under greater pressure. In any case, my points still stand. If these people weren’t getting something out of being in the military, they would be making a bigger noise about recruiting practices. But I think once you’re in you let that go and just go with the flow.

Can a person have two souls?

This is now the second time I’ve had to confront this question and I still don’t know the answer. Two people in my life had significant parts of themselves that didn’t feel like them. The more extreme of the examples is the person who feels like most of their life up to age 13 they spent watching their life from outside their body. As if they didn’t actually inhabit it until they were 13. The difference at 13 was that they were put on ritalin and went to a camp where he met the trees.

Now, I did find a reference to soul braiding, where two souls inhabit the same body, but that’s the only reference I found online. And it didn’t appear to fit him, he said. I found another reference from a man who said his spirit guides said that two souls couldn’t inhabit the same body because it violates the free will of the souls, which is impossible. I’m inclined to agree with him. I can’t imagine how two souls could coexist, and certainly not in a way that’s so destructive.

What does make more sense to me is that his soul was not grounded to his body. Therefore, much of his life was spent outside of his body. Bad things could happen because there wasn’t anyone ‘home’ protecting from outside influences. So manipulative people could take control of him without his being able to stop them.

The difference at 13 is the trees called to his soul, grounding it to earth. With the soul more firmly rooted to the body it could dispell the manipulative forces and stay in control. I don’t honestly know how the ritalin contributed, though it probably prevented astral episodes since it seems to shut down other metaphysical gifts.

So why would this be happening again? Perhaps it’s mismanaging of the new energy on earth. If someone is not taking time to align themselves they could be thrown so out of whack that they’re a mess. Perhaps he’s not following the path he needs to right now. I really don’t know. And even if I’m right about all of this, he’ll disagree anyway lol But if anyone knows, I’m all ears.

Thanksgiving

Carrie cooked our first, all alone, full Thanksgiving feast! It was excellent! We had so much food, I’m just now beginning to be a little hungry, and we ate around 4 lol. The turkey was perfect, plus we had real mashed potatoes, real gravy from the bird, green beans seasoned with smoked sausage, and real made from scratch dressing. Plus some corn because it’s a rule, and my favorite jellied cranberry sauce (ocean spray only!) Hehe, it was nice. We both ate a bunch, and then felt quite sleepy. But I opted for a little drum time, since I haven’t played in weeks and missed it. Unfortunately my endurance is crap, so I only played a few songs before my brother called and I quit for the evening. I’ll definately have to make time more often.

I hope everyone had a good Turkey day. I already decorated the tree, and it looks so nice! And the blue icicle lights are up on our balcony. I feel much better now I can’t wait to see what Carrie does with the Christmas village hehe, it’s a suprise. I still want a mini tree for all of our mini ornaments and a tree skirt. Usually I put the mini’s on the tree, but this year the tree is already full since it’s tucked into a corner. See, in our family our parents gave me and my brother hallmark ornaments every year as we were older. I also have ornaments from my babysitter when I was really little. So there are a few groups on the tree. The stuff from my childhood, including my first christmas, painted ceramics from my babysitter (which I absolutely adore!) and the halmarks that just say daughter and the year. Then there are the star wars ones, which are fun. Then the Harry Potter section, and finally the space section. I like it, though very few ornaments are Carrie’s. But, mom and dad keep getting us little personalized ones so we have matching snowmen and such, and she has her own colts ornament, which goes right next to my packers ornament. hehe I love Christmas, and just because of the family stuff, not gifts. It’s just nice.

Why I like Texas this week

Notice I didn’t say love? I don’t think I can ever love Texas. But there are some nice things about it.

1. Texas renaissance fair - We went for a few hours on sunday, which is the last day, thanks to some free passes. It’s huge, for one, and quite amusing. People not even in costume walking around with swords, because, where else can you walk around with swords? hehe Also, some costumes were amazing! And…best of all…I got to eat some homemade pierogie! Yummy!!! So many different foods, you can’t go wrong.

We also saw some great crafts, including these amazing amulets made out of clay and with symbols inscribed. I’ve never seen such nice amulets, between the colors and unique symbols. Unfortunately he only sells at ren fairs, but I will return next year for them. We also got this super cool looking dragon carved from wood (we think) that was only $10. Definately a good deal. So, if you have money to burn, the ren fair is a good place to do it at.

Ooh, and I almost forgot the best part. We went in this little haunted house like thing, and the two girls ahead of us freaked out. They seriously waited so we could catch up, then had us go ahead of them. They were literally hanging on carrie and screaming. It wasn’t really that scary either. lol, very wierd and funny and worth the $3 hehe

2. It’s finally cooled off. It feels like fall! It’s a miracle! Granted, back home they had snow for my birthday, but cool weather is good enough for me. Now if only the packers could manage to win! Stupid vikings and their last second field goals.

3. Hmm…guess I’m a little short on the liking stuff today. I’m not going to force it, just get ready for bed and let tomorrow be better. We plan to go to the Ansel Adams exhibit at the Ransom Center. I can’t wait!